Somewhere Only We Know
by blacknails512
Summary: *sequel to Changes* Even after all they've been through, college is definitely taking a toll on Alec and Magnus- Alec is still partly in the closet and Magnus seems to be hiding something important from him. They'll need a miracle to make it through this.
1. This Is How I Disappear

**A/N- Okay, so this is a story I have co-written with bring bee a lollipop. She is such a fantastic writer and she came up with the idea, and this first chapter. I applaud you, Bee. :D Without her there wouldn't be a sequel at all *dodges tomatoes* Well excuse me...  
>Disclaimer- The Mortal Instruments series belongs to Cassandra Clare. Bee and I are simply websties that like to write together.<strong>

(Magnus POV)

"Your report should be no less than four pages and needs to have at least three sources. Due a week from today. Make sure to submit your online journal by Thursday so I can grade your work. Do not make me repeat how many entries you should have. That's what your syllabus is for. Class dismissed."

I slung my rainbow messenger bag over my shoulder with a yawn. Ugh, college. How long have I been here? Four years? Let's try a measly three months.

It's not that I don't like college. I actually enjoy it a lot more than I thought I would. Idris is a great place to get your education and start all over. It's been nice to get away from my home town. Where my parents live. Lived. Lay in the ground stone cold dead.

I shudder as the cool November breeze caresses my face, though admittedly it's not from the cold. I hate thinking about my parents. I lost my mother a few years ago and my father died recently in a horrible car accident. I don't want to relinquish my intense hold on them, but the pain…it's too much for me to bear.

I guess it's really weighing down on me more this month more than others. Thanksgiving was always a great time in my house. My mother and I would get up at the crack of dawn and start preparing for the big feast. A faint smile passes my lips.

"_Magnus, your father has once again placed the flour on the ridiculously high shelf in the cabinet. Seeing as you were blessed with his ungodly tallness, would you mind getting it?"_

_I laughed at the sour look plastered on my mother's face. "Sure thing Mom." I reached over her head to get the flour that she had no hopes of reaching even on her tip toes. I had just grasped the edge of the bag with my fingertips as a fluff ball of white lightning shot across the kitchen and under my feet. _

"_Chairman!" I yelled frantically, trying not to step on the small kitten. Sure enough, I lost my footing and the bag of flour went flying. Just before my ass hit the hard tile, I saw the bag land on my mother's head, showering her in white. It was all I could do not to piss myself._

_Chairman Meow jumped onto the counter then and proceeded to lick the powdery substance from my mom's face, meowing in dislike at the taste. Mom stood there for a moment, stuck in a stupor as I laughed hard enough to shatter my ribs. "Y-Yooou sh-should see…oh God!" _

_At that moment Mom snapped back into reality and looked right at me, mischief twinkling in her green eyes. I swallowed hard. _

"_I won't have to, my love, because I'll get to see you!" She took the bag and poured the remaining flour all over me, completely ruining my outfit. I fought the urge to shriek and run into the bathroom and shower as my mom assaulted me with the vile flour. I stood up quickly and ran to the sink, turning on the water and spraying her with the nozzle. _

"_Magnus!" she squealed, trying to fight me for the nozzle. Five minutes of this resulted in a destroyed kitchen and two very flour clad Bane's._

I had never looked so good in white.

"Quad vente two and a half pump caramel macchiato?"

I jerked my head in the direction the voice came from. "Uhm, yeah…" I trailed off. How had I ended up at the coffee shop outside the school's main café? Well, this is where I always went after English to get my fix and work on homework until Alec got out of class.

Alec Lightwood. The center of my universe. The only light illuminating my life. If he were to extinguish-

"Here you go, Maggie Moo. How was Dr. Stiles today?"

I smiled at the nickname that has finally begun to stick. "Not entirely awful, Annie. In fact…she was in a very good mood at the beginning of class, and her make-up looked rushed."

"Was her hair straightened?"

Come to think of it, no. Dr. Stiles always wore her hair the same way- straight as a board. I don't blame her; once when it rained she came into class looking like Chairman Meow's fur in a picture Max sent me after Maryse had tried to give him a bath. That woman letting her hair go natural- major no no.

"No, her hair was really frizzy, and it didn't rain today…"

Annie's eyes got wide, reflecting my own. "That hoe IS getting it on with the Dean. I knew it!"

"You called it," I said, paying and tipping my favorite barista and biology lab partner. She liked poking at dead things. I didn't. I didn't have too much trouble remembering terminology. She did. It was a wonderful relationship. "Thanks for the coffee."

"Thanks for the tip. See you tomorrow to dissect some pig." Even she made a face at that. I threw up in my mouth a little. "Don't remind me." She giggled and waved goodbye. As I made to leave I caught a glimpse of her hand. I really ought to take her out for a mani/pedi.

I strolled away with my treat, pulling out my cell phone to check the time. 1:15. Alec would be ten minutes into his English class. I sat down at my usual table, pulling out my laptop to get started on that report when my phone buzzed to life.

**Alec- Did Dr. Stiles just romp the Dean in his office? I didn't think it had rained this morning…**

I snickered.

**Magnus- That seems to be the consensus.**

My laptop hummed its greeting, signaling it was on. I pulled up the internet, logged into my student account on the Idris University website and refreshed my mind over the assignment. It then occurred to me that I still had one of those damn journal entries to write. What are we, preteen girls? I liked English, but this journal stuff was crap. I don't need my feelings related to whatever topic we were supposed to write about displayed on the internet for the world to see. I knew I was a demented freak. Alec knows I'm still getting over my parents, and that's all he needs to know. No one else needs to know anything.

The tense set of my jaw relaxes a little when I get another text from Alec.

**Alec- Shoot me in the faaaace!**

**Magnus- Your face is much to pretty to be scared and I'm kind of attached to it. Just like I wouldn't shoot you in that glorious ass of yours.**

I waited a minute.

Two minutes.

Five minutes.

**Alec- You don't need this text. You know damn well I'm blushing.**

I laughed, getting a grin from Annie across the room. "Hi Alec!" she called.

**Magnus- Annie says hi.**

**Alec- Tell her I said hello but I am not speaking to you.**

**Magnus- Awww =( Why not?**

**Alec- You know why. I'll see you when I get out of this hell hole….I love you. Jerk.**

The grin on my face was irreversible and I set my phone back on the table. "Alec says hi, Annie May." I was rewarded with a dazzling smile.

Sipping from my little cup of heaven, I turned my attention to my computer. Heaven quickly turned bitter in my mouth. This damned journal question. What does death teach us?

I saw red. What does death teach us? It teaches me that life is a cruel and utter bitch that takes away everything you love and cherish in the world. That it sneaks up on you at the least opportune moment, and you don't get that final chance to tell your coma ridden dad that you loved him and appreciated his utmost dedication to me after my mom died. You don't get to run to your mom and dad's room anymore and cuddle with them so the nightmares go away. I don't get to see the joy on my mom's face as she watches my dad come home from a long day of work. The way he embraced her as soon as he closed the front door.

They would turn the lights down in the living room and turn the stereo on after they had a huge fight and dance. I will never get to see that kind of love between two people ever again.

Tears blurred my eyes. I pressed the submit button and then shut my laptop angrily. My macchiato had gone cold. I shoved my laptop into my bag, stood from the table and narrowly avoided knocking the chair over. Annie shot me a concerned glance, but I was too upset to care. I had to get to my dorm before I broke down crying.

I made it there in record time, slamming the door shut and flinging myself on my bed. I hate to be away from Alec for long periods of time, but in this moment, I was glad for the solitude. I could let the tears fall without fear. I didn't want to be a burden to him any more than I already was.

"Magnus?" came a strangled voice. I knew that voice better than I did my makeup routine. I looked at my cell phone. Almost 2:30. I must have been at the coffee shop longer than I thought. I sat up and quickly wiped the tears from my eyes. "Magnus!"

I sprang up from my bed. "Alec, baby what's wrong? And…where the hell are you?"

"Bathroom! Come quick!"

Oh God, if he's like some guys wanting to show off the size of the dump they just took…I don't think he's like that, but hey, we all have our little fetishes. I entered the bathroom and saw him standing on the toilet, so that mustn't be the case. Thank GaGa.

"Baby, what ever are you doing?" I stared at him and was instantly more in tune with the situation. Alec looked scared to death, which could only mean one thing.

"Spider?"

He nodded reverently. "In the corner of the bath rub. Hurry Magnus, before he can escape and get his friends and plot to lay their eggs in my brain tonight!"

I loved the boy with all my heart, but this arachnophobia is really getting to be a pain in my ass. "How would he even get in your brain, Alexander?" I ask as I wadded up some toilet paper.

"Through my ears", came Alec's strangled whisper. I sighed. I guess we all have our own irrational fears. Like the world running out of glitter and Alec suddenly dropping off the face of the earth. Something tells me I could live without the first as long as the latter never happened.

"Okay baby, I'm going to guard the spider while you make a run for it. Shut the door behind you, alright?"

I swear he sniffled. "O-Okay".

I squatted down beside the tub, motioning for Alec to come down from his porcelain fortress. "Go ahead Alec, I've got this."

Alec wasted no time bolting out the door and slamming it as he went. I rolled my eyes, all the while a smile tugging at my lips. I stood up and went to the sink. I grabbed the cup I use to rinse my mouth out after I brush my teeth and then carefully positioned myself for the spider's capture. I turned the cup over and trapped him inside. Then I scooted it and the cup along the edge of the bathroom, using the wad of toilet paper to cover the cups mouth.

"Magnus! Is it safe?"

"Just a sec, baby! This one's fast! But never fear, I've almost got him!"

That seemed to calm him down. Luckily I knew he wouldn't come in to check. I opened the window adjacent to the sink and set the spider out on the ledge. "Go on little fella", I whispered. "There's been too much death in my life and I can't bear to be the cause of it. Oh, and just between you and me, I don't think you're disgusting. Just misunderstood." Like me.

The spider crawled onto the outer wall of the dorms, freeing him into the outside world. I closed the window, flushed the toilet paper, and rinsed out my cup before joining my beloved who sat curled up in the covers on my bed.

"Did you get it?"

I landed next to him with a flop, sending him airborne for a second. "Yep, he's off to a better place."

He just nodded and curled up against my side. His eyes were rimmed in red, so he must have been crying before I got here. "Alec, honey, it's okay. The big bad spider is gone." I rubbed his back soothingly, forgetting about my own troubles for the moment.

"My knight in shining armor" he said with a sniffle as he met my eyes.

I looked back into those ferocious blue eyes that I have come to love so much. "Glittering armor", I corrected him. He chuckled and nodded his agreement. I ran my fingers through his hair, wondering what had traumatized him so badly to be this afraid of spiders.

"I'm sorry I get so freaked out about spiders", Alec said a few moments later as if he were reading my mind. "When I was six my parents took Izzy and me to Disney World, and they had this Pirate Adventure Theatre where everything was 3-D and special effects. At first I was so enthralled because when Scratchy Beard the Pirate and his dastardly crew had to go through all the obstacles to get to the treasure, the special affects would come on. There was a misty swamp, and the theatre filled with fog. They had to go through a cave and water drops fell on your head and mechanical bats flew around the theatre. But then…they were attacked by monstrous spiders, like from Harry Potter. They popped out at me in 3-D. Something from under the chairs came up and started tickling my arms and legs, like a spiders legs would. I couldn't move. And then a gigantic one leaped right out at me and I screamed. I was too afraid to move. My Dad carried me out of the theatre and Izzy teased me the rest of the trip."

Alec buried his face in my shoulder in what I took as embarrassment. "Hey," I cooed, taking his face in my hands. "None of that. I can understand why you'd be so scared. That's one hell of a traumatic episode for a six year old."

He nodded and snuggled closer to me. I wrapped my arms tightly around him. "Don't worry, my darling. No spiders are going to hurt you as long as I'm around to protect you."

Alec smiled. "Thank you Magnus." His face faltered slightly. "I just wish I could protect you from your fears too."

I blinked in confusion. "What do you mean? You do protect me, Alec."

He stared at me hard with sad eyes. "I saw the mascara stains on your pillow. They were still wet when I touched them."

Damn. Now he's probably going to want to start checking my wrists for new scars again.

He held me as tight as he could. "Magnus, I don't know what's wrong, but I have a pretty good idea."

Here it comes, I'm going to be forced to talk about the one thing I was trying to forget. Well, two things. I opened my mouth to respond, but Alec pulled away and pressed a finger to my glossed lips. "Sweetheart, I'm not asking you to talk about it. I know you don't like talking about those feelings. I just wanted to say that if you ever want to, I hope you know I'm here for you in every way possible. I love you, more than anyone in the world. I want to take care of you for…well, the rest of my life." And with that, he ended with a blush.

I watched him in astonishment. I barely heard him whisper my name after a minute or two of silence. "I think that's the first time you've ever called me 'sweetheart'. I like it."

He snorted. "From that whole speech 'sweetheart' is all you caught from it?"

"Oh no, I heard it all." I rolled over and pinned him beneath me, emitting a gasp from the beautiful boy beneath. "And I rather loved the sound of it."

He blushed even redder. "I love you."

"As I love you, Alec. For the rest of my life."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

We sealed it with a kiss.

* * *

><p>(Alec POV)<p>

Kissing Magnus was by far my favorite pass time. It was as if his lips were designed specifically to mold to mine. Magnus usually wears some sort of flavored gloss, so I never know what he'll taste like. Today it was bubble gum and his specialty drink he orders from the school café.

His hands worked their magic under my shirt, making me shiver from the contact. No matter how many times Magnus touched me, I still reacted as if it were the first time. I could go on like this forever. I'm sure Magnus would agree to stay in this bed and forever ravish me if I wouldn't allow the outside world to get in the way.

I'm drawn away from my day dream as Magnus rakes his nails across my nipples, emitting a rather embarrassing moan from me.

"That's what I like to hear," he whispers in my ear while nibbling on the lobe. I sigh my contentment as he kisses his way down my neck. I'm completely submerged in the delicious things he does to my body as well as my mind.

Much too soon for my liking, Magnus pulls away. I whine in disappointment, working my fingers through his hair as he lays his head on my chest. "Why'd you stop?"

He looks up at me with those engaging green eyes of his. "I didn't want to give you too much of a good thing, baby."

I smiled. "You gave me too much of a good thing when you asked me to be your boyfriend." I kissed his hair and he giggled. Yes, Magnus giggles. And I find it absolutely adorable.

Suddenly his face became serious. "I try to be good to you, Alec. I really do. I know I'm kind of a downer since my dad died."

I think it surprised the both of us when he said "dad". He'd usually let the statement drop and leave me to fill in the blanks when we discussed his parents' deaths. "You have every right to be a downer at times, Magnus. I'd be worried more than I am if you weren't."

He snuggled into my chest. I found my arms constricting even tighter around his slight body. I truly was worried about Magnus. He was already slender, but due to all the stress in his life he'd lost a substantial amount of weight. I knew he was eating, though. He may or may not have done his happy dance when he found out Idris had a vegetarian friendly portion of the cafeteria.

"You shouldn't have to worry." Magnus' voice stirred me. I heard the slightest sniffle come from the beautiful body atop mine. I tilted his head up with my finger and found a river of mascara cascading down his golden face. "I try so hard not to be a burden to you!"

I was honestly stunned. Magnus Bane? A burden to me? And hadn't he been giggling a moment ago? What brought on the tears?

I sat up and scooped him into my lap, rubbing soothing circles into his back. "Magnus Bane, you listen and listen well." I knew I had his attention by the way his body tensed.

I momentarily stopped my massaging to take his face into my hands. I wiped away the fresh tears with the pads of my thumbs. "You are in no way a burden to me. You are the most wonderful thing in my life, and I fully intend on it staying that way. Don't you know by now how much I love you? How _in_ love with you I am?" I kissed him chastely. Once. Twice. Three times. "You are beautiful, Magnus. The best part of me. I wouldn't be here, sitting comfortably in my own skin if not for you. You will never be a burden to me, no matter what life throws our way. I promise I will never leave you."

Magnus sniffled, but it came with the slightest hint of a smile. "Getting tips from wedding vows on line?" he asked in a shaky voice. I feigned being put off by his statement, but I faltered almost immediately. I slipped my hand into his, squeezing lightly.

"Now why would I be on a site for help with wedding vows?"

Magnus rested his cheek against the dip in my neck, rubbing his thumb against the back of my hand. "A boy can dream, can't he?"

Inevitably, I blushed. Magnus and I hadn't even been dating for a year and here he was talking about us getting married! But yet… "Magnus?"

"Yes, the most amazing boyfriend in the universe?"

I rolled my eyes, getting a swat on the arm in response. "You are!" he exclaimed like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"If you say so, sweetheart."

"Oh, I know so, doll face." I laughed as he smiled. We seemed to be back on track now. "Here," he said, "let me try again. Yes Alec?"

I swallowed hard. "Do…do you really see us…" I didn't know what I was asking really. The idea of marriage seemed bizarre to me, what with just coming out of the closet a few months ago. He was probably just kidding, anyway.

"Do I see us being married one day?" Or maybe he wasn't. I nodded.

He nuzzled his cheek into my neck, settling in while he thought. I lazily wrapped both arms around him, resuming rubbing his back. "Well, not any time soon anyway. I mean, I wouldn't force you into it or anything like that. I know you just came out to the world practically yesterday and are still getting used to people knowing. Just because I've been out and proud since I was like, five, doesn't mean I expect you to adjust to the fabulous world of glitter and rainbows."

I snorted. "Uh, I don't think I will ever make it to the glitter and rainbows stage of being gay."

"Honestly, I'd be floored if you did. And slightly worried. And maybe freaked out. Anyway, all I know about us for the moment is this: even though I'm dealing with all this…death bull shit, I have never been as happy as I am when I'm with you. You make everything okay again. You're pretty great at putting me back together when I fall apart, obviously."

I kissed his temple.

"Alec, you've been and always will be my everything and….oh God, do you realize how much we've sounded like teenage girls in the past half hour?"

"You normally do", I replied.

He scoffed, grabbed a pillow, and proceeded to beat me to death. Except that he was more beating the pillow, considering stuffing was falling out of it. "See?" I asked with a laugh, trying to fend him off.

He set the pillow aside, flipped his bangs out of his face, and pouted. "Jerk. You sexy, sexy jerk."

I tried to distracting him from seeing my blush with, "Oh, you love me." I lay down and pulled him with me. He beamed his response.

I kissed his hair and rested my chin on top of his deflated and finger mused spikes. It struck me harder then than it ever had just how much Magnus meant to me. It brought tears to my own eyes whenever I thought about losing the most precious person in the world, so I was damned determined not to dwell on it.

Within minutes, I felt Magnus' body release all the tension it held. His steady breathing alerted me he had fallen asleep. I slowly turned us on our sides. I pulled up his hot pink zebra print comforter over his peaceful form, leaning in for a light kiss. "I love you", I whispered.

I laid beside him for what could have been hours or merely minutes watching him sleep. I hoped that his mind was quiet, letting him get the sleep he so desperately needed. Even with his perfected morning make up routine Magnus couldn't hide the pale purple circles under those gorgeous eyes. I sighed. His nightmares were intensifying with each night that passed.

At first he hadn't really had many at all. I think he'd been too numb from the shock to really allow himself to feel much of anything, dreaming or in reality. Then I'd wake up and hear him crying, pleading for his mom and dad to stay. I tried in vain to sooth him, allowing him to sob it out on my shoulder when I had finally roused him from the pain in his dreams only to force him into the pains of reality.

The nightmares dulled in intensity, going from waking up sobbing or screaming to waking up to calm his labored breathing, snuggle deeper into my arms, and fall back asleep. This had become the norm for us. Even now that we had two beds, Magnus and I would sleep in his usually.

Ever since we moved in it seemed his night terrors were coming back full force. Magnus had tried to convince me to sleep in my own bed at least twice a week so he wouldn't wake me with his thrashing, but of course I refused. I'd hold him as I am now, making sure he fell asleep before I did so I would be there to sooth him in his tortured state.

A strange feeling pulled me back into the present. It took me a second to recognize my phone buzzing in my pocket. As quickly as I could without waking Magnus, I moved to worm my phone from my jeans. I glanced at the screen as I gently made my way out of Magnus' bed and slipped into the hall. It was my mother.

"Hi Mom," I answered.

"Oh, Alec, I thought you might not answer. The phone rang for a while."

I closed the door softly behind me. "Sorry, Magnus was asleep and I was trying not to wake him."

"The poor dear, is he still not sleeping well?"

I shook my head. Oh, wait, duh. "No, he's not. He's getting fewer hours at night and taking random naps."

"Hmm, well, should I make him an appointment during the break? We could see if he is eligible for some sleeping pills."

"I don't know, Mom. You know how weird he gets when we try to help him."

She sighed. "I know, but since his father died, I feel partly responsible for him. Even if he is an adult. It doesn't seem right, my babies being in college already. It seems just like yesterday I was picking you up from kindergarten that day you accidentally-"

"Okaaaaay Mom! How about we talk about something else."

I could hear the smile in her voice. "I was just making sure you two were still coming home for Thanksgiving."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. She called me every week since school started to ask me that. "Yes, we are. Can't wait."

"Me too, honey me too." She got quiet all a sudden. "Okay, okay here!" she laughed. A moment later I heard a new voice. "Alec?"

I grinned. "Hey Maxie, how are you?"

"I'm good. I miss my big brother."

"I'm sure Jace misses you too, kiddo."

Max had a massive giggle fit. "No, silly! I meant you! Jace comes home so Mom can do his laundry."

Why did that not surprise me? "I know, I miss you too. But I'll be home next week."

"I know! I am so excited! You missed a lot since you've been gone, Alec! I grew two inches and I got my hair cut and my tooth finally grew back in, but then I lost another one when I was eating an apple, a granny smith apple to be exact, and I climbed a tree with Chairman Meow cause he got stuck and got scared so I had to go and get him and Mom and Dad don't read "Spider Man" as good as you and Magnus do!"

Yep, this kid still talks a mile a minute. "I promise Magnus and I will read "Spider Man" or whatever else you want to you every night we're home when we visit, okay?"

"Okay! Oh, Mom wants the phone now. I love you Alec! Tell Magnus I said hi and that Chairman Meow is doing great!"

"Will do, buddy. Love you too."

I heard his laugh fade away in the background as my mom started to speak again. "He misses you so much, Alec. We all do."

Embarrassingly enough, I had to swallow the tears in my throat. "I miss you all too. I'll be home soon."

"Alright, well", my mom sniffed, "I need to start on dinner. Isabel is bringing Simon over in about thirty minutes. I love you, Alexander."

"Love you too, Mom. Tell Izzy and Simon hi for me."

"Will do. Bye honey."

With that she hung up. I took a moment to compose myself. It seemed like forever since I had seen my parents. If I felt this way after three months, I couldn't begin to fathom how Magnus must be feeling. He wouldn't see his mom and dad next week.

I slipped back into our dorm. Magnus was right where I left him, snoring lightly. I leaned over him, planting a kiss to his forehead. His breathing hitched momentarily, then he was stone cold out again.

A light knock sounded behind the door, and a head with vibrant red hair peeked through the door. "Anyone home?"

I grinned and waved Annie in. "Have fun at the café?"

She sat in the light purple egg chair Magnus had brought from his old room, crossing her legs under her. "No worse than any other day I guess." She glanced at Magnus. "Is he okay? He seemed really upset this morning."

This was news to me. "Really?"

Annie nodded, still watching Magnus. "He was cheerful when he got his coffee, but when he pulled out his laptop he seemed…really off. Like he was super sonically pissed."

"He didn't mention anything to me when he came in…but he did break down crying later on after we made out."

"Thanks for that image", she replied with a smirk. "You cramming your tongue down Maggie Moo's throat is just the mental image I needed."

Red swam up my neck into my cheeks. "Try the other way around."

Annie giggled softly, rummaging in her messenger bag for something. "Anyway, there's this contest for students who are into art, and the winner gets some super prize that won't be revealed until the actual art show. I know Magnus likes to paint, so I thought it might be a good way for him to vent out whatever is beefing him."

I took the flier from her. Of course it would be hot pink. Magnus was majoring in the Arts so maybe this would be a good thing. I looked at my beloved, sleeping soundly. Maybe this would be a good thing for him. Anything to bring the light back to his emerald eyes.

"You really love him."

I glanced at Annie, her own green eyes watching me intently. She'd become our best friend on campus, practically living in our room after she got off work. "More than life."

She climbed into bed with Magnus and curled up next to him. "Wake up, Maggie I think I got something to say to yooou." I suppressed my smile.

Magnus stirred slightly but was quite obviously still asleep. I climbed into bed on his other side, resting my chin on his shoulder. "It's late September and I really should be back at schooool."

"It's November. If you're not in school already your kind of screwed for this semester." Magnus cracked a glittered eye open.

"Hey Annie. Hey baby" He turned his head to kiss me.

"Maggie, you should read this!" Annie shoved the flier in his face and practically flung herself into his lap, earning a strangled "oomph" in response. I wasn't jealous. It had been stated earlier in the semester that Annie was Magnus' "straight girlfriend" while he was her "gay boyfriend."

"Careful Annie May, my boy toy here might get jealous." He slipped his hand into mine, kissed my knuckles, and proceeded to read the flyer. Annie looked at me hopefully as I worried my lip between my teeth. I prayed this would be a beautiful distraction to him.

Sure enough, Magnus' eyes lit up. "Is it too late to hit up Hobby Lobby for some art supplies?"

Annie and I hugged Magnus around his neck. "No, honey. Let's go hit it up!"

Magnus squealed, flipped out of bed, and danced around the room. Annie and I secretly high-fived. Maybe with her help, I could get my Magnus back to his glittery, confident self.

Magnus grabbed me by the hand and pulled me into his dance mix of what looked like the mamba mixed with something Jennifer Lopez and Beyoncé might think up. I caught Annie grinning out of the corner of my eye. _Yes_, I thought as Magnus spun me around, joining me in laughter. _This is a great start. _He dipped me then, pulling me back up to meet me with a passionate kiss.

Scratch that. This was an _amazing_ start.

* * *

><p><strong>AN- So what do you think? I think Bee did a great job! Be sure to review! Cuz if you don't then we will cry our eyes out and eat a gallon of Chunky Monkey ice cream... well, it will probably be mint chocolate chip but you get my point. **  
><strong>-Ella &amp; Bee<strong>


	2. Just Sleep

**A/N- Aw, you all make Bee and I so happy with your awesome reviews! This chapter is shorter than the last one, but whatever, long chapters are overrated.  
>Disclaimer- Haven't I already said this? Bee and I don't own shit, just the plot and Annie :D<strong>

(Alec POV)

Magnus and I were in the Hobby Lobby in no time after that. Annie had to go back to her dorm because her roommate was having a fit about how she didn't clean up after herself and a bunch of other girl things that I'd rather not repeat.

It seemed like Magnus was legitimately feeling better after hearing about the art competition. His eyes had a new light to them and he was buzzing around the small shop at top speed, picking up random things and muttering to himself before shoving whatever it was into my arms. I wasn't complaining at all, though I had a cramp in my hand. Seeing Magnus happy again was all I ever wanted and at that moment, I had it. If he was happy, then I was happy. Simple as that.

He was currently holding a large tube of hot pink paint, turning it over and over in his hands while his eyes were somewhere else completely. I followed his gaze and saw that he was looking at a paintbrush that was supposedly made from zebra hair.

"Is that legal?" I asked him.

His eyes snapped up to mine and he shrugged nonchalantly. "I don't know," he said, grabbing the zebra paintbrush. "But we're getting this." Another item was then added to the large bundle in my arms.

Not too long later, we were standing at the checkout counter and the pimply guy working there looked like his eyes were going to bug out of his head when he saw how many things we had.

As he began to ring everything up, I turned to Magnus and raised my eyebrow. "How exactly did you plan on paying for this?"

To my great surprise, he whipped out a credit card and handed it to the cashier. "Like that."

When we got back to the dorm, Magnus got to work immediately, though I guess you couldn't exactly call it work because he actually _enjoyed_ painting. Ever since we had 'painted' that empty room in my house, he painted lots of different landscapes or inanimate objects whenever he could. Sometimes he'd even add a small poem to go with it. He was talented beyond belief but didn't realize it.

There were papers scattered about the work desk in the corner of the room once Magnus got in the zone. From what I could see, he was trying to sketch a pair of eyes before he painted anything. When I pointed it out he grinned a little and said that he was trying to draw me for the competition.

"Me?" I repeated. "That's not… you don't have to."

Spinning around in his swivel chair, Magnus smiled sweetly at me. "But I want to," he insisted. "Come here."

I slowly padded over to him and just stood there until he pulled me onto his lap. The silky texture of his pajama pants rubbed against my leg and my eyes were instantly drawn the bright article.

"Look at me," he said softly. When my eyes met his he smiled widely. "You see, _that's _what a want to draw, to capture in a painting. Those eyes right there are what keep me going every day and I want the rest of the world to see them. They're a thing of beauty, they are."

My face felt hot and I moved my eyes back to his pants leg. "Thanks… but…"

"But what?" he suddenly snapped, causing me to jump a little in his lap. When he saw my face his eyes closed and he took a deep breath. "Sorry. I just don't understand why you won't accept my compliments."

"Because they're not true," I started.

"Yes they are," he countered. "Alexander, you are the most beautiful, perfect, amazing, person I have ever met. Why can't you see that? Why can't you see all the reasons why I love you?"

I didn't say anything for a few seconds. Magnus always did that, he always complimented me but I never really took it to heart like I think he wanted me to. To me, I was horribly average. There was nothing special or exuberant or amazing about me.

"Magnus, I don't know," I muttered. "You are the only person, besides my mother, who has ever told me those things before. I know you love me, but sometimes I can't believe you when you tell me the reasons why."

"What will it take for you to believe me?" he asked quietly. I shrugged and didn't meet his intense gaze until he tilted my chin up with his pointer finger. My breath was taken away by how soft his kiss was. He was being very gentle with me all of a sudden and the hand on my chin was barely touching my skin at all. And then it was over before it really even started and Magnus was eyeing his papers again.

After that weird moment, I resigned to my bed and put my headphones in, cracking open the seventh Harry Potter book for the umpteenth time. I turned the volume on my IPod up to drown out the sounds of Magnus' pencil scraping across a fresh piece of paper. He probably assumed I was listening to My Chemical Romance again but I was secretly enjoying an upbeat, lovely Adam Lambert song.

I couldn't figure out what was wrong with Magnus for the life of me. There was no doubt in my mind that it had something to do with his parents. He was getting worse every day even though this art competition thing perked him up a little. I could hardly blame him; his father had died not even a year ago and that's not something a person, a teenager for goodness sake, could simply get over.

My book nearly crashed to the floor when a realization hit me like a ton of bricks. Magnus had been wearing long sleeved shirts a lot more often lately and I hadn't checked his wrists since the beginning of the school year. The fact that he could possibly be cutting himself again scared me into running over to him and grabbing his shoulder.

"Let me see them," I demanded none too gently.

"See what?" he asked, prying my hand from his shoulder which was clad in a bright blue cotton sweater. "My drawings? Well they're not done yet but I suppose you could-"

"No, no," I said quickly. "Your arms; your scars, let me see them."

He stood up slowly and lifted up the sleeves of his sweater. I didn't breathe until I counted all ten, no more no less, and Magnus raised his eyebrows at me.

"What was that about?" he muttered.

"I-I'm sorry," I stuttered. "I just realized that I hadn't checked and I got really worried." Before completely finishing my sentence I grabbed his waist and pulled him into a hug.

"No need to worry so much," he assured me. "I'm fine."

That was probably the biggest lie on the planet but I didn't comment on it. Magnus was hardly 'fine' but I suggested we go to sleep instead. I watched him walk into the bathroom until he closed the door. I'd have to keep a close eye on him.

I had the weirdest dream that night. It wasn't scary, just weird- At first it was like a normal day in my life, I was walking around on campus but there was something slightly off about the image. It was crinkled, like a piece of paper that was no longer wanted. Then it started raining. The water droplets bypassed my entire body except for a spot on my shoulder that felt oddly damp and my sweater was tied around my waist for some reason unbeknownst to me. The sweater was tied way too tight and it was making it hard to breathe.

My eyes flew open and I used a few seconds to get my thoughts together. Blindly reaching over to the small table next to Magnus' bed, I somehow found my phone and flipped it open. It was nearly two in the morning.

That bizarre dream had my stomach in a knot. Whenever I was under stress I either had no dreams or had really weird dreams. To be honest, I'd rather have peaceful, dreamless nights than four hours nights topped with freaky dreams.

One of my many flaws was that I had a habit of overthinking lots of things, one of those things being my dreams. I always tried to dissect them and figure out what they meant. I watched a movie about dreams inside of dreams inside of other dreams and it got me thinking about the meaning of dreams and why we have them and a bunch of other things. The only probably was that I was no psychologist so I didn't know what any of my dreams meant.

My shoulder was still wet. I could feel Magnus' arms around me like they usually were when we slept in the same bed but he was shaking slightly. Flipping around in his arms, I was face to face with him and his tears.

"I didn't mean to wake you up," he whispered, his breath catching in his throat.

"It's okay," I said, wiping away one of his tears. "How bad was it tonight?" I asked, referring to the nightmare he obviously had.

I was confused by the shaking of his head. "This time it wasn't a nightmare," he muttered. "It was a memory of when we went to France when I was younger and we went to this ice cream place or something, I don't remember now, but it was happy."

"Then why are you crying?"

There was a small pause, and then I heard him say, almost unintelligibly, "Because I woke up."

What could I have possibly said to that? There was no response I could've given besides telling him that my heart had just momentarily stopped, so I wrapped my arms around him and moved his head to my chest, stroking his hair and massaging his scalp in a movement that usually helped calm him down.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked softly after the waterworks had gone dry.

"There's nothing to talk about," he answered. "Go back to sleep."

"Please talk to me," I almost begged him. "I want to know what's on your mind."

I felt him sigh into my t-shirt. "I'm thinking about how I'm tired and my boyfriend should really let me sleep."

"Fine, go back to sleep. But I'm not letting this go."

"I'll talk about it tomorrow, okay?" he breathed, leaning up to give me a quick kiss. "I love you."

"Love you, too."

* * *

><p>The next day went normally except for the fact that there were hot pink fliers all over campus about the art competition. Magnus wasn't the only one excited about it; my entire English class was talking about it by the time I got there at one-ish.<p>

"Alec," one of my friends called. "Magnus is entering, right?"

"Yeah Jeanette," I answered slowly. "Why?"

"Well I need to know how tough the competition is," she said, taking her usual seat next to me. "If Magnus is entering then I really need to brush up on my painting skills. Get it? _Brush _up?"

I gave a small, mildly fake laugh. Jeanette was always coming up with bad puns but I never had the heart to tell her that her sense of humor was equal to that of a third grader. She was a really sweet girl though, shy and lacking a fashion sense like me… but her boyfriend wasn't sparkly enough for my taste.

Dr. Stiles walked into the classroom, her hair messed up on one side. Since the day before, everyone knew she was banging the dean whenever she got the chance. It was kind of… actually it was _really_ disturbing to think of such a thing. I mean, they were so _old_.

I whipped out my cell phone out of habit to text Magnus something clever about the awkward sexcapades but saw with disdain that my battery was dead. Then I had to endure the boringness of English class without Magnus to keep me laughing.

By the time that class was over and Dr. Stiles had reminded us about our journal assignment numerous times even though she said she wouldn't, I was very much ready to head to the dorm and get a head start on my homework. I decided to stop by the café and say hi to Annie beforehand.

"Hey Alec," she said with a small smile. "Rough night?"

There were bags under my eyes and I think my hair was messier than it normally was. Even though Magnus went back to sleep after his dream, I remained awake for hours after that. My brain wouldn't shut up and I kept peeking at his wrists in case I had missed something earlier that day.

Her face fell when I nodded. "Magnus was up crying at two and I couldn't fall asleep after that."

"He still can't stay asleep through the night?" she asked, pressing a button on the foam machine.

I leaned my elbows against the counter and shook my head. "Nope."

"Well maybe your usual afternoon coffee will make it better?" she suggested.

"No thanks, I'm just making a pit stop," I said. "Magnus probably got it for me anyways."

Her eyebrows scrunched up and she gave me a look. "Magnus hasn't been here today."

"What?"

"He didn't come over here today," she repeated. "The last time I saw him was in biology and he said he wasn't feeling well."

"Oh, he's probably got a cold," I said. "No matter how many times I tell him, he refuses to wear more clothes in the winter."

Annie's laugh was a lot like my Max's- short and cute. It always made me smile. "I don't think he understands that 'skin tight' isn't the same as 'warm.'"

I laughed along with her and then gave her a quick hug before making my way to the dorm. Though I joked around about it, I was concerned that Magnus had more than just a cold. There were a million things running through my mind and I walked a bit faster until I reached our room.

Magnus was simply sitting on his bed, typing away on his laptop with the blankets pulled up around him. His head moved up when I burst into the room and he blinked at me. "Hi hon," he said with a scruffiness in his voice. "Why do you look so freaked out?"

"No reason," I almost squeaked, so relieved that he was okay. "Annie said you weren't feeling good. I thought something bad had happened."

"Nothing bad happened," he assured me. "Unless you count evil English homework as a bad thing."

"You look sick," I pointed out, setting my books down and pulling out my laptop.

"I _am_ sick," he said, gesturing to his nose and giving me a big sniff. "That's why I'm actually doing my essay _and_ my journal entries right now. Actually, I'm done with the essay…"

"How'd you finish so quickly?" I asked. There were used tissues surrounding him, like a thrown of two-ply, and I grabbed the small trashcan next to the bathroom door.

I helped him throw away all of the nasty tissues while he explained to me that he liked the topic of the essay. Magnus was definitely an English person so I think that helped a bunch, too.

"Hopefully I'm better by this weekend so I don't ruin Thanksgiving," Magnus muttered.

"Well it's only Tuesday," I said. "You've got until Saturday. And even if you're still a little sick, Thanksgiving break lasts about a week so we still have time to see my family."

"Good. Now go wash your hands, you're not allowed to get sick, too."

* * *

><p>(Magnus POV)<p>

"Alexander, darling, don't take it out on your laptop," I said gently, rubbing his arm. "You'll get the essay eventually. You've got two more days."

"I utterly loathe your ability to write like a genius," he muttered.

Poor Alec had been trying to type up his essay for hours with the exception of a twenty minute break to eat Raman noodles, but he couldn't get his words out right. My attempt to give him writing tips failed epically and he closed his laptop in disdain.

"At least you give good compliments," I said with a smile. When he leaned in for a kiss, I unfortunately had to stop him. "As much as you help my demanding ego, I don't want to get you sick."

One of those rare, sexy smiles showed up on his face and his laptop was back in its case. "But I want to taste that delicious smelling gloss on your lips," he whispered.

Of all of the days to get frisky with me, Alexander chose the day I was sniffling and sick. But, hey, who am I to deny the most amazing man on the planet a nice kiss? So I pushed back his hair and planted my lips right on his. He sighed against my mouth and I knew I had succeeded in being a good kisser. I made sure to keep it with minimal amounts of tongue, just so he didn't get sick.

I had to pull back so I could sneeze into the crook of my elbow. Alec looked up at me with his big blue eyes and I melted a little.

"Didn't I tell you to bring a jacket with you to class even though it's a short walk?" he scolded.

Grabbing a tissue to wipe my nose, I shrugged and eyed the floor. "Maybe…"

He took my hand and dragged me over to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. "I think we have so Nyquil in here somewhere." A green/blue bottle appeared in his hand and he gave it to me. "It tastes like shit but it'll knock you out in no time. The last time I took this I slept a full twelve hours."

I took the cap of and sniffed it. The horrible smell that assaulted my stuffed up nose made me cringe; I couldn't imagine what it tasted like. "Well, if it helps me sleep…" Shrugging, I tilted my head back and was about to drink it when Alec swiped the bottle from my hands and tsked at me.

"You can't just drink it from the bottle," he said in a 'duh' sort of way. The forgotten cap was sitting on the granite countertop and Alec picked it up, pouring the syrupy liquid into it. "Here, drink this."

After smelling the foul medicine, there was no way I was about to drink it without testing it first. My tongue darted out to barely touch the surface of the medicine and it almost triggered my gag reflex. It smelled like rubbing alcohol and I image it had a similar taste.

"I am _not_ drinking this," I said firmly, setting down the cap.

"Yes you are," he countered, pushing it towards me again.

"No. I'm not."

"Yes. You are."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"No."

"Yes."

"HA!" Alec exclaimed, grinning. "Drink it."

"_Aleeeeec_," I whined.

"Be a man," he insisted. The cap was in his hand and he was holding it in front of me.

My bottom lip poked out. "I don't want to."

"Come on, Magnus," he pleaded, lacing his free fingers into my right hand. "Please? I'll repay you with pudding and kisses."

I sighed, "Deal," and took the cap, bracing myself for the onslaught of gross tastes invading my tongue. Forgetting to plug my nose made it worse and as soon as I swallowed I almost threw up. "That," I exclaimed, pointing to the Nyquil like it just called me a bad name. "Is the single most disgusting thing I have ever tasted in my life!"

"You'll thank me in half an hour," he said, leading the way out of the bathroom. I tilted my head at his ass, greatly admiring it in his sweatpants. Alexander had a big ass, but in a good way. It wasn't flat, but it was perfect and round… No one liked a flat ass, even a gay man. I wondered if he had some type of foreign background, maybe he was 1/8 Puerto Rican or something. William kind of looked like Alec and he didn't have an ass like that. I mean, Alec's was _perfect_. And in skinny jeans it was _extra perfect_.

Snapping fingers were in front of my eyes, blocking my view of Alec's butt. "Magnus," the boy whose ass I had just been staring at said. "Are you even listening?"

"…Yes?"

"Then what did I just say?" he asked, putting a hand on his hip in a gesture that would've been feminine if it had been someone else, like Simon. Okay, that was mean.

I wondered how Simon was doing. He had dropped out a few weeks earlier, much to his mother's dismay. Since Isabelle was off going around the country, Simon decided to follow her lead and went with her. The last Alec or I had heard from them was Sunday and they were in Maine but they didn't tell us why. Alec was worried that they were going to elope but I convinced him that Izzy was smarter than that and she had too much to look forward to in life.

"Magnus!" Alexander said again.

"What? Sorry, I was daydreaming."

"I said eat some pudding to get that gross taste out of your mouth," he said. "And then go to sleep."

The clock on the wall behind him told me that it was early. "It's only eight thirty."

"You need to sleep, Magnus. It's good for you."

"Okay," I muttered, slinking over to the mini-fridge and pulling out a pudding cup. Man, pudding was good. Chocolate was the best but I'd tried a vanilla pudding that had sprinkles in it and the coloring from the sprinkles rubbed off into the actual pudding so it seemed like it was rainbow. I decided at that very moment that if I was ever in the food business, I would create a rainbow pudding especially for boys and girls like me.

With that thought, my pudding was gone, having disappeared down my sore throat. My eyes were suddenly heavy and I was surprised at how fast that gross medicine was working but then I realized I was also sleep-deprived so that probably had something to do with it. Throwing away my empty cup of pudding, I crawled under my bright covers and sighed.

"Alexander," I muttered.

From under a pile of blankets and rough draft essays, I heard him ask "Yes?"

"You were right." I just barely caught a glimpse of him smiling at me before I fell asleep.

**A/N- Magnus Bane is the greatest person ever in the history of the universe. Really, he's freaking awesome. If you agree with me, then you should review. And if you don't agree with me... why are you reading this in the first place?  
>-Ellllllllllllla :D<strong>


	3. Annie May

**AN: Hey you guys! This is Bee. So I am back at college this next week and it's going to crazy for the first few weeks. When I get more of a rhythm down I will be updating as regularly as I can, and I will always let you or Ella know what's going on so you aren't all in the dark. On another note, it has been nearly a year since I've written anything lemony so please just…say you love it even if you hate it. They will get better, I promise. But I'm no MaybeThere'sHope, no matter how much I wish I was, so yeah.  
>Disclaimer- Cassandra Clare owns the Mortal Instruments series, not us. <strong>

(Magnus' POV)

"How can you not remember what color his eyes are? You have tons of pictures of him scattered around here, and you're his boyfriend."

Annie and I were sitting on my bed, me mixing blues and whites and light purples trying in vain to come up with Alec's eye color but failing miserably. "I know, and while I could stare into those blue oceans forever and be content with doing nothing else, I can't recreate them. His eyes are always changing."

"Whaddya meaph?" she asked around a mouthful of chocolate chip cookie. She had brought a ton of snack food as a final soirée before Alec and I went to his family's house for the holiday. I had horded all the skittles and sour straws for myself.

"His eyes change with his moods," I explained. "When he's happy, they are so bright, like a shooting star across a midnight blue sky. When he's sad they're like a fog over an ocean. When he's excited or determined, aquamarine gemstones in fire. And when he's angry…it's the most brilliant sapphire."

I glanced at Annie's face. She looked so thoughtful it slightly shocked me. "You really notice the little details like that?"

I smiled. "I notice everything about Alexander Lightwood." The boy of my dreams, the man of my life, the love of my forever and beyond. So I tend to be a sappy teenage girl, what of it?

"He was really worried about you the other day. When you told me you were sick. He looked scared to death."

I cringed at her words. He knew I'd been upset lately, tried in vain to make things better, and I usually told him to forget about it. I'd be okay in time. I myself didn't believe it, but I was damn well set on making Alec believe it. I set my pallet aside, repositioning myself in bed. I let my head fall on Annie's shoulder and she wrapped an arm around my torso. "I wish he wouldn't."

"No you don't. If he didn't worry he wouldn't care what you were going through. I can see it when he looks at you, how much he does care. How in love with you he is. It gets a bit sickening at times."

I giggled.

"But incredibly sweet," she finished with a smile. "Makes me wish I had a significant other, you know, other than my dead frogs and bugs and whatever else I have to dissect. Oh, the woes of being a biology major!" She threw her free arm over her eyes and faked a sob. I wasn't sure whether to comfort her or laugh my ass off, so I did a bit of both. I kissed her cheek and held up a bag of mini snickers, shaking it in her face. She was ripping the bag apart in seconds.

"Don't worry Annie May, we'll find you a piece of man meat around here eventually."

She snorted. Normally I find the noise related to pigs and think of the person who uttered it as half pig, but in Annie's case it was endearing. "Yeah, okay." She downed her bottle of Root Beer in five seconds, tossing it into the trash and opening another. "Me, Annie May Hightower- The girl who is always covered in dirt from gathering soil samples and observing insect activity. I'm covered in freckles from head to toe, and I'm pudgy. And I'd honestly rather have my face buried in a book sitting in my dorm with a cup of chocolate mocha then going out clubbing or getting pregnant in the back seat of a car!"

I glanced at her face, flushed from anger. "Honey, you are not pudgy! You have got some sexy curves going on, and quite frankly I envy your breasts, and I'm an ass guy."

No matter how hard she fought it, her face broke out into a smile. I continued. "And any guy who wants to get in your pants in the back seat of a car has no class what so ever. Seeing as how I have to approve of any guy you deem worthy of dating your fabulous self, I will make sure no such scum bag comes near you. Now, as for the dirt…well, your hands and poor abused nails could use some serious MLC."

"MLC?" Annie asked curiously.

"Magnus Love and Care."

Annie giggled and rolled her eyes. She glanced down at her hands, obviously now fixated on their dry, cracked state. She frowned. "I never noticed."

"That's because you have me to worry about things like that for you. Now, I propose that after Thanksgiving, you and I take a trip to this amazing little day spa I found in the next town over and spend the entire day there. I swear you'll feel like a brand new woman!"

Annie continued to look at her hands. "Will I have to like…get naked and stuff?"

"Only for the mud baths and deep tissue massages, but they cover your ass with a towel for the latter. You don't have to do those things. You could just keep me company."

"Alec really lets you get naked in front of total strangers?"

I grinned wickedly. "I made him get in the mud bath with me last time."

She shrieked. "That's almost as scandalous as the rumor going around that the Dean and Ms. Stiles are pregnant."

The sour straw I was currently gnawing on nearly got sucked down my throat. "Are you serious?"

"Yep. They were chaperoning some dance thing for the Dean's niece or something and totally got it on in what used to be a band room from what I heard. Ah, the memories of being the 'Prom Night Accident'. Great times."

"You were a prom baby? I never knew that."

She grinned. "Yep. Mom had me her senior year of high school and Dad had to drop college. He tells me I'm the greatest thing that's ever happened to him, though. He's always been my best friend."

"What about your mom?" I asked, sipping from a green tea bottle.

"She loved me too. She always used to braid my hair into pigtails and take me out for ice cream Friday's after school."

I swallowed an all too familiar lump in my throat. "Loved?"

She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes by a long shot. "My mom died when I was a junior in high school. She had a brain tumor."

I didn't know what to say, so I immediately started to grovel for forgiveness. "Oh God, I'm sorry Annie, I had no idea!" God, she'd hate me for bringing it up. I always wanted to scream at Alec for mentioning my parents.

"Don't be. I'm not."

I blinked in rapid succession. She wasn't upset? How could she not be upset? Why isn't she cursing everyone and everything around her, taking our stash of candy and slamming the door in my face?

Annie must have sensed my confusion. She took my hand in hers and squeezed tightly. "Magnus, I don't mind talking about her. My mama was an amazing woman. There was always this glow about her, even in her last few months when she was so sick. She was always so happy."

While I was happy that Annie was secure enough in her mother's death to speak openly about it without becoming catatonic, I was also incredibly jealous. Why did she get to talk about her mother and be perfectly sane? What had I ever done to deserve how I felt?

"H-How? How did she… how did she and you not resent everything in the world?"

She might have only been nineteen, but in this moment, Annie looked so wise beyond her years. "In the beginning, I was angry, Magnus. I hated the world. I shut my friends out, I lashed out at everyone, and all I could do was cry. I missed two weeks of school the first month. All I wanted was to barricade myself in my room and die along with her."

I nodded in understanding. I felt…still feel…the same way.

She had to wipe away a stray tear before she continued. "One day, my mom came in and sat on my bed, took me into her arms, and said 'Annie May, it's time to stop this. I have loved you every moment since I found out I was pregnant. I wasn't afraid then, and I'm not afraid now. I know that I've raised you right, and I have no doubt in my mind that you will rise above all of this and do great things with your life.'"

I was so engrossed with her story, that I didn't notice the new presence in the room.

"So I picked myself up, with the help of my mother, and stood up straight, wiped my tears, and fought it through until the last moment." She took a calming breath. "For the last three weeks, Mama had no idea who I was."

My heart broke all over again. For Annie, for her mother, for me and my parents.

"The tumor was pressing on her temporal lobe, making her forget, well, almost everything. She was never hostile towards me, though. I would come into her room after school and sit with her. Her face would always light up and she would say 'I love it when pretty girl comes to see me.' She would always ask me what my name was and who I was, and I told her. She would act so shocked. 'I don't have a daughter' she would say. It hurt me to the core, but I knew she couldn't help it. Then she would start braiding my hair and ask if I liked strawberry ice cream.

She was in there, somewhere, because she remembered those things. On the last day of her life, both Dad and I knew it wouldn't be long until she passed. I lay in bed with her, petting her hair and telling her stories from when I was little. She was silent for hours, soaking in everything I said. 'Annie', she said, causing my head to snap up. She'd been calling me 'Pretty Girl'. 'Annie, if I ever had a daughter, I would want her to be just like you. I bet your mother is so proud of you.'

She passed away not a minute later."

I was so moved by her words. Mascara stained both of our faces, but whereas Annie had a smile on her face, mine was devoid of any emotion.

I was…I am so angry. I'm so hurt that my mom and dad were stolen from me for no good fucking reason. Pain is all I really know anymore. I am s_cared to death _to let myself even dare to be happy because I know, I just _know_, that it will all be ripped away again. I…I can't. I can't do it again.

Annie reached out her hand; wiping more tears I didn't know were falling from my face, and then wrapped me up in her arms. I gratefully snuggled into her magnificently soft lady pillows, sniffling. "I see them. In my dreams, in my nightmares. They ask me why I won't join them. If…if I'm ashamed of being their son. I could never be! I miss my mother! S-She holds out her arms but I can never rea-rea-reach them and s-so she turns away from me and disappears. My legs move but I don't go anywhere. I want my mother back! I want them both back!"

I was sobbing now. I would by Annie a new shirt for ruining the one she had on with mascara. She sat and petted my hair. "Is that why you're pushing Alec away? Because you're afraid that being happy with him will lead to losing him too?"

I nodded, ashamed of myself.

Almost instantly there was a new pressure on the bed, as well as a new set of arms locked tightly around me. "You will never lose me, Magnus."

I had forgotten that Alec had come in during Annie's story. I rolled until my face was buried in his chest. I cried even harder. "Shh," he said, rubbing my back. "I'm never going to leave you. I promise."

I clung to him for dear life. "If I c-can't s-snap out of it, you will. I'm so scared, Alec. I love you more than life, and I'm so afraid you'll get stolen from me. I'm trying to forget about my parents and move on so I can be happy, and I want to be happy with you! But I just know that if I can't bring myself out of this…self-loathing and depression or whatever it is, I don't even know…that you'll leave me for someone who can make you happy. A-And that's what I want more than anything, more than my parents being alive again. For you to be happy."

Alec pulled away and I cringed. He took my face gently into his hands. "Do you really think that little of me?"

I was so lost. "N-No! No, I could never, Alec! "

"Then why do you think I would leave you? God, Magnus, you are so…aggravating sometimes!"

If it were possible to literally choke on a sob, I would happily do so now. I was surprised Annie didn't come to my defense. Maybe she didn't think I was worth saving. I know I certainly didn't.

Alec sighed, and then stared into my eyes head on. His eyes were the aquamarine color now. Determined. "Magnus, I know you're hurting. I know how distressed and pissed off at the world you are, even on your happy days. You keep trying to push your parents out of your life, but baby, I think that's what's hurting you the most. Hiding them away. You just can't do it."

Annie continued after Alec. "Maggie Moo, your parents and my mama might not be here physically, but they're all around us. They live inside us. In here." She gently placed her hand over my heart, as did Alec. "Yeah, it super sonically sucks that they're gone, but we have to focus on the here and now. You're alive, and with a super sonically hot guy who happens to really like sucking your face. And I have the two most amazing best friends I've ever had."

Alec was blushing a bright red at Annie's remark while she giggled. They were both right. I couldn't tuck my parents away like they were some dirty magazine you didn't want to get caught looking at. I didn't really want to. It just hurt too much thinking about them.

The three of us sat in silence for probably close to twenty minutes. There was a strange comfort in it. I was in the middle of my bed, with Annie holding my right hand while Alec held my left. He drew circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. It didn't matter how small the action was, but I always got goose bumps whenever Alec touched me. I couldn't live without this. I couldn't live without his love or Annie's friendship. I had to suck it up and live in the now.

And I knew the perfect people to get me through it.

"Will you guys help me?"

"Always and forever, sweetheart. No matter what." Alec leaned over and kissed me full on the mouth. I could have melted.

"As long as you guys keep that to a minimum in front of me, sure, why not?" Annie made a vomiting noise but immediately turned to giggling. Alec and I joined in her laughter. Oh, to laugh a real laugh again.

As we sit and chatted the rest of the day, I couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, I could bounce back.

(Alec's POV)

I woke up a few minutes after six, stretching out my achy limbs. Magnus had fallen asleep in my lap last night after Annie left. He was better, eons better, but he still had a long way to go. I would be there for every moment.

I needed to get up and finish packing my things, but I couldn't bring myself to relinquish my hold on the precious gift in my arms. I held him close. For once, his face was peaceful in his sleep. No worried lines in the middle of his forehead; just tranquility.

His emerald eyes fluttered open slowly. He grinned. "Morning gorgeous."

Of course, I blushed. "Hey baby. Did you sleep okay?"

"I haven't slept that good in months." He sat up, sliding off my lap and cuddling beside me. "I dreamt of them."

I immediately prepared myself for the water show despite his calm demeanor. "Your parents?"

He nodded. "It wasn't a nightmare. We were just sitting in our living room playing 'Sorry'. It seemed appropriate after all I've done lately. Trying to forget them and all."

I kissed his temple. "You didn't do anything wrong, sweetheart."

He smiled. "You were there too. Mom was so happy we were finally together. Dad told you not to get me pregnant."

I chuckled. "No need to worry there. You don't have the right equipment. Thank GaGa."

Magnus laughed, sitting up to meet me with a kiss. "Soooo, today's the day! Are you all packed?"

I looked away. "Uhm…"

"Alec!" he shrieked. "We're leaving in less than two hours! Get that luscious ass of yours out of bed and finish up!" He pinched said ass, causing red to pool onto my face. He laughed, taking his face in my hands. "I absolutely adore you."

"You realize you are doing nothing to help my blush, right?"

"Who said I wanted to get rid of it? I rather like this shade of red on you", he said in a low voice he only used when he was up to trouble. He began to kiss my neck, nibbling softly on the skin. I moaned, shivering at his touch.

"Oh, you like that do you?" he asked while slipping his hands under my shirt. I jumped out of my skin. He found my lips with his, taking complete control over me. Little did he know that these moments are what I lived for. I wrapped my arms around his neck, losing myself in him completely.

He popped the elastic of my pajama pants, demanding the article come off in his silent way. I quickly wretched them from my body, discarding them across the room before turning my attention to Magnus' lips. I buried my hands into his hair, pulling him as close as I could. My lips were already swollen; a price I was happy to pay.

He broke away after several heated kisses, pulling at my shirt. "Off", he commanded. I sat up and obliged in his demand, peeling the shirt over my head. Much to my pleasure, Magnus was working on removing his clothes as well. All I could do was stare. Magnus Bane was glorious. He was glorious and all mine.

"See something you like, Alec?" He asked as he removed his panties. At first Magnus wearing women's underwear was kind of hard for me to get used to, regardless of finding it hot on him. I didn't have the time to fully appreciate it because in no time at all Magnus' naked body was flush against mine.

"If I didn't, I certainly do now", I managed to choke out. Magnus chuckled, kissing me deeply while his skilled hands traveled down my sides. I shuddered violently at his touch as if it were the first time we had…well, I'm sure you can guess.

His hand was suddenly wrapped around my all too excited erection, twitching eagerly at his touch. "Magnus!" I gasped, eyes rolling into my head.

Again he chuckled. "I haven't even started, baby." His weight shifted suddenly, and then his mouth was working its magic. I dug my nails into the mattress, clinging to my sanity.

His tongue travelled along the length, sending me over the edge. Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, his teeth grazed me up and down, followed by rapid swallows. Anyone want to bet that I wasn't a screamer?

Magnus hand clamped over my mouth. "As much as it pains me to say so, you're going to wake up the whole hall if you don't stop that." I nibbled at his fingers in response.

His lips made their journey back up my body, licking and sucking all the way. My skin was so hot; my nerve endings screaming for release. "Magnus", I pleaded. "Magnus_, please_."

He wasted no time after that. It's as if the lube on his fingers appeared by magic, slipping inside me with such procession I choked on my own breath. I shamelessly bucked into his fingers, begging for more.

Magnus wore a shit eating grin on his face. He cured his knuckles, brushing right against the most sacred place inside me. He knew exactly what he was doing to me. He smothered my scream in a searing kiss, fondling that sensitive bundle of nerves relentlessly. I was sure if I could hear how loud I was moaning under Magnus' lips, I would be embarrassed beyond belief.

A few more minutes of this torture took place before Magnus took pity on me and removed his fingers. I whimpered loudly at the loss, only to be rewarded with a kiss promising so much more pleasure.

"I love you", he whispered against my ear. As my heart melted at his words, he slid inside the "bat cave" as he once called it, much to my secret amusement. I may have had a thing for Batman.

"Gooood", I moaned.

"No", Magnus said shakily. "Just me." He pulled completely out and slammed back in, setting the most amazing pace. I was putty within seconds.

His lips were everywhere; fluttering across my eyelids, my cheeks, my lips. If I had to come up with a better feeling, I'd be shit out of luck. My nails raked down his spine, telling him how good it felt in my own way. I may or may not have drawn blood. He moaned at the contact, so I guess he was okay. More than okay.

Within minutes we were drenched in sweat, sliding easily against each other. The friction of his toned stomach rubbing against me was more than I could stand. I tangled my hands in his hair, arching into him. It still amazed me how perfectly we fit. I nibbled on the tip of his ear, earning a cat like purr out of him. I pulled his mouth to mine, kissing him with everything I was.

"Alec", he moaned, sending me over the edge. It was hard for me to believe that I, Alexander Lightwood, could bring Magnus to his knees. "Alec, I c-can't…"

I kissed him with all the force I could muster as I lost my own release, staining Magnus' stomach with white. Seconds later Magnus came crashing inside me, causing an aftershock to rock my body. I was vaguely aware that I was digging my nails into his shoulders and screaming his name as he rode out his orgasm. I saw stars behind my eyes.

Magnus kissed me before pulling out. I winced slightly at the loss, feeling empty. He lay down beside me, holding me close.

"I think we need to get our own place", he said out of the blue.

I glanced at him. "Why is that?"

He shifted to lie on his side, propping his head up with his hand. "So I can listen to you scream without having to worry about others hearing you."

I buried my face in his chest with a groan. "Magnus," I whined. "Don't make fun of me."

He wrapped his arms around me with a laugh, kissed my hair. "I'm not making fun, baby. I love it when you scream my name in the throes of passion."

I swatted at his chest half-heartedly. He smiled. "You don't know how much I love you, Alec."

I smiled back, the blush forgotten. "If it's as much as I love you, then I have a pretty good idea." He leaned in and kissed me, pulling me even closer. I snuggled in his arms, my head on his chest.

"So how much longer until we need to finish packing and hit the road?"

I glanced at the clock on the bedside table. "A little over thirty minutes."

"Well in that case," Magnus said with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. I laughed, as he kissed me again, pulling the covers over our heads as we completely lost track of time, but not of each other.

**A/N- It's Ella now, and I have to say that Bee did a fantastic job! I sort of did a half-ass job for checking for little errors so if something's wrong then blame me :3 So, you NEED TO REVIEW because I have no idea if anyone is even reading this and we have less reviews for the last chapter than we did for the first one :( Please review? Bee and I would really appreciate it.  
>-Bee and Ella, who love to write and love R-E-V-I-E-W-S-!-! <strong>


	4. I Spyyyyy

**A/N: Hello lovelies! I think all these author's notes are going to start with "College is kicking my ass" as my late chapter excuses. Because it is. I've got 17 hours going on and two of my classes are DANCE classes. Bee is a white girl. Thus, she does not dance. I'm trying to make up for absences by bringing forth long chapters. I hope you guys are liking this, and even more so I hope I am doing Ella justice. She's insanely given me free reign over this story and…oh gosh. **

**I love the reviews you've left so far. I know I love you guys, and I'm 99.99999999 carry the 9 % sure Ella does. I'm never going to demand you guys review, but they are inspiration boosters and writer's block blockers. So if you love these characters and the crazy antics Ella and I put them through, you'll review. If you don't, then…in all niceness, why are you hanging around here? I'm sure Bella, Edward and Jacob, Katniss, Peeta and Gale, and Harry, Ron, and Hermione would love a visit. **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Mortal Instruments, I would be a total bitch and not lend out Magnus and Alec. So be thankful I don't.**

(Alec's POV)

"Okay, okay, I've got one that you will _never_ guess."

Magnus and I had been on the road for about forty five minutes. I never knew until my ass hit the leather seat that there were so many car games in existence. "Alright, lay it on me."

Magnus did one of those happy claps and squirmed in his seat. "Okie doke, I spyyyyy with my little glitter coated eeeeyes-"

"Wouldn't glitter in your eyes be extremely painful? I was in a terrible arts and crafts incident in second grade. Had to put in eye drops for two weeks."

Magnus sent a light punch to my shoulder. "Oh, you know what I mean. And if you don't, that's terribly sad, seeing as you've known me my entire life."

"Practically," I reasoned.

"Anyway, I spy somethiiiiing white and black."

I momentarily took my eyes off the road to glance at my surroundings. I had decided to take the scenic route to my parent's house after watching the news this morning. There had been a massive wreck on the highway, involving several cars. One of the cars had a family of five with only one survivor. I didn't want Magnus to have to relive the horror of what happened to his dad. When he asked why we were taking the long way, I simply told him "Because I want some time to ourselves before we have to deal with crazed siblings and clingy parents". He didn't argue.

"Could it be that cow in the pasture on the right?"

"Psht, no." He sounded slightly defeated. "It's the cow in the left pasture." I grinned and squeezed the hand that hadn't left mine since we'd been on the road.

His head came to rest on my shoulder. "Thank you."

"For what?" I was genuinely confused. I mean, sure I packed all his socks and underwear, but that was sort of to my leisure.

"You." He tilted his head to kiss my cheek. "Everything you've ever done the entire time I've known you."

"You're welcome, my little sapling."

Again, a hit to the shoulder. "I am not a sap!" I could only stay silent and smile. He must've not been too offended since his head was right back against my shoulder.

I was doing everything in my power not to obsessively worry about my boyfriend. He seemed in a much better mood since his talk with Annie. At the time I was jealous that she had been the one to break through to him. She had introduced him to the art show and got him to open up about his feelings. Of course, I am grateful. He hasn't even looked depressed today. I suppose it helped opening up to someone who had gone through the same loss as Magnus had. Whatever helps him.

I glanced down and noticed that his eyes were closed. I couldn't tell if he was sleeping, but his breathing was an indicator that he soon could be. He needed the rest. Last night was the first time I could remember that he's gone without a nightmare. It was also the first night we've both slept through since we'd been at Idris.

Annie was a freaking miracle worker.

"Would you hate me if I fell asleep?"

I raised his hand to my lips and kissed each knuckle. He grinned and snuggled into my side. I kissed his temple at a stop sign. "Should I play "Go the Fuck to Sleep" to get you in the mood?"

I was graced with a laugh and a knee slap. "Oh God, that would be perfect."

"My IPod is in the console. Go for it."

He eyed me curiously, unwinding my earphones from the body of my electronic baby. "Why do you have that on here?"

"One, I find it disturbingly hilarious. Two, Max kept bugging me about it because he heard something about it from Jace when he was over last weekend, so I promised to let him listen at bedtime tonight if he promised not to tell Mom. Third, because Morgan Freeman's voice is bad ass."

"Amen to that." Magnus put the ear buds in his ears and closed his eyes, giggling every so often at the story. In the five minutes it took to listen to Morgan Freeman, he was sound asleep.

"I love you, Magnus", I whispered softly. I relaxed into my seat, able to fully let myself enjoy the ride now that I knew Magnus was at peace. Nothing else mattered in this moment. Just me, Magnus, and the road that led us home.

* * *

><p>"You are incorrigible!" I laughed after Magnus ordered a third round of large fries, not to mention his second chocolate milkshake.<p>

"Look, you try being too depressed to even recall what food is. When you bounce back, food is the most beautiful thing in the world." He took a massive bite out of his veggie burger. "And when I'm full, you'll be back in that position."

I rolled my eyes and nibbled on a fry. "Well, at least you're feeling better."

He nodded whole-heartedly and swallowed with a satisfied 'gulp'. "I'm going to try to remember them as they were…which I guess would be not dead, right?"

I tried my damnedest to hold back a chuckle. Magnus himself grinned at his musings, so he must not have taken offense. "Right, babe."

He gasped. "Alec!"

My spine was immediately erect, ready to become the comforter yet again to any hysterics he might burst into. "What? Did I say something wrong?"

Magnus leaned over the booth and kissed me full on the mouth. "That's the first time you've called me anything other than my name in a public establishment! I would say you said something very, amazingly right."

"I-It was?" I stammered out, but was thankfully saved from what would surely be word vomit by another eager kiss. I met him with no hesitation. I had to admit, I was proud of myself. I was taking the most miniscule baby steps imaginable when it came to publically displaying my gayness and my devotion to Magnus, but they were steps none the less.

"I'm so happy, Alec. These past few hours have been so uplifting."

"I'm glad, sweetheart." So I did that on purpose. A brother has to rank up all the brownie points he can get. I was rewarded with the most dazzling smile I had seen from him in all my life. If I were any more of a softy when it came to this man, I would have cried from relief.

"Tomorrow, do you think…" Magnus trailed off, a battle raging in his eyes. He worried his glossy bottom lip; a nervous habit he hadn't picked up until we'd started dating. I took his hands in mine, running my thumbs along the backs. Thank Gaga I didn't usually have an issue with patience.

"Sunflowers. We used to plant them in the garden behind the house. Every time she tried to take care of them they died, so…so I tried one summer and they grew. So tall. She called me her sunshine after that. Can we go to that little flower shop on Ninth and get some sunflowers?"

I nodded.

"They…were her favorite. And I haven't talked to her or dad in a while…I need to."

"Whatever you need to do, we'll do it."

He glanced at me shyly; his eyes brimming with tears. The determination to hold them in was almost more than I could stand. "Together?" he asked in a barely there voice.

I smiled. "Always and forever, love."

He nodded in response, sniffling a bit, but the tears never did fall. It amazed me how much stronger Magnus had become in just the past twelve or so hours. I leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead. "I love you. You're going to be okay, Magnus. And I will never stray."

A rueful smile appeared on his face. "Yesterday, I wouldn't have believed you. About being okay. But now…I think you're right."

I scoffed. "Bitch, please. I know I'm right and so do you."

His laugh filled the diner. People turned to stare, but I didn't care. In fact, why not give them a legitimate reason to stare? I took Magnus' face in my hands and pulled him closer, pressing my lips to his. He gasped in surprise, but his lips did not falter. I grinned.

There were looks of disgust along with secret glances toward us. The waitresses were all smiling ear to ear. I'm sure I heard an "awww" from the table adjacent from our booth.

Magnus pulled away, blushing. Now _that_ was a rare occurrence. Whispering, he said "Alec, darling, everyone is staring at us."

I shrugged. "Should I be worried?" In a way a part of me was screaming at myself for making such a public display of my sexuality. The bewildered excitement in Magnus' eyes was enough to rip the tongue out of that part of mine's mouth.

"Nu uh," he answered in a seductively sultry voice. Party in my pants? Oh yes. "Wanna leave so we can make out in the car without such an audience? I mean, I don't mind being an exhibitionist, but I don't think your quite there yet."

"I'm wearing a Lady Gaga shirt with sparkly letters, what more do you want from me?" I asked as I covered the bill and left the tip on the table. Magnus slid out of his seat with another heart melting laugh.

"That in itself is a huge victory for me."

"You mean for us, darling." I made it a point to make sure all of the lingering onlookers got a good glimpse of me wrapping an arm around Magnus' waist as we made our way out.

Our short walk to the car was silent. All the while Magnus was staring at me out of the corner of his eye. I stopped, turning to face him. "Okay, what is it? Do I have ranch dip on my face?"

He tilted his head to the side in deep contemplation. "I'm just curious."

"About?" I encouraged.

"Not that I'm not oozing with pride and adoration, but why all the PDA all a sudden?"

I took a moment to think as I slid my arms around his neck, letting them rest on his shoulders. "While you were sleeping on the way here, I had a lot of time to think. Even though you were sawing some massive logs." He pinched my side playfully. I grinned, and then grew serious. "I thought of you and all the strides you've made this past year with everything that's happened. I came to realize that life is too damn short for me to be a half out gay. I should be able to make out with you in public and feel comfortable in my own skin. I mean, yeah, I'm gay. And I have this incredibly sexy boyfriend who I'm head over heels in love with, so why not flaunt it?"

Magnus shook his head with a smirk planted firmly on his gorgeous face. "I have no fucking idea."

"My point exactly. So I'm going to give us both what we want and deserve. I'll scream it from the rooftops in you want!"

He laughed, resting his hands on my hips. "I think you're doing just fine without all that, but I'll hold you too it, Alexander."

"I'd rather you hold me to you."

"I can work with that too." He pulled me flush against him, our hip bones brushing. We looked at each other for an immeasurable amount of time before we met in the middle. Our kiss was searing, stars dancing behind my eyes. I wasn't sure that I even existed. Everything was Magnus.

Except for the persistent buzzing coming from my pants pocket. That was everything annoying. I mean Isabelle.

Magnus chuckled at the irked sound that came from my throat. He nipped my bottom lip before he pulled away. "Your sister is going to murder me for keeping you away from her."

"We're only thirty minutes away, she can suck it."

"Well, I guess she _could_, but I prefer you so much more, darling."

I blushed a violent scarlet, smacking his rear with a little more force than I intended. He just purred at me, the bastard. I opened his door for him and he slid into the car with nothing more than a grin etched into his face. As I shifted into gear, I found myself mirroring his cheery demeanor.

(Magnus POV)

We had barely stepped out of the car when Alec was bombarded by a shock of messy black hair and big blue eyes behind glasses and a childish cry of "Alec!" I smiled as Alec scooped Max up in his arms, tossing him in the air and catching him, then twirling him around. Max was the exact copy of Alec from his younger years.

"I missed you! I'm going back with you to college!"

Alec held Max impossibly closer. "I wish you could, buddy. I missed you more than anyone, but don't tell that to Isabelle." He winked, scrunching up his nose as he did so. Max didn't bother to stifle his giggle as I did. He instead nodded vigorously.

I decided to make myself useful while the mini reunion went on. I popped the trunk and proceeded to unload our luggage.

"Baby, you don't have to do that by yourself. Lemme help you." Alec sat the eager child down and came to meet me behind the car. I shook my head as he effortlessly grabbed his one bag along with three of my seven.

"Wooooow Magnus, you have a whole lot of stuff!"

"I sure do, and one of those bags is filled with goodies just for you."

Max tackled my leg in a fierce hug, glancing up at me through his too big glasses that made him even more precious. "All for me?"

"All for you."

He let out a victory cheer, hooting and hollering while fist bumping the air. Something suddenly caught his attention and he ran for the house, stopping at the front door. "Mom, look! Alec and Magnus are home!"

Maryse smiled lovingly at her son, petting his hair. "I can see that."

Maryse had changed in the years I knew her. She used to be so stoic and cold, holding herself so ridged that she was sure to shatter if you touched her. Alec's nanny had practically raised him, Isabelle and Jace, as she and Robert were always away on business. It wasn't until she has met my mother that she loosened up. My mother always had a gift of bringing the best out of people. She saw my mom's relationship with me, how open and loving it was. After a few months of my mother's friendship and encouragement, everything changed. She moved her job to a home office, never wanting to be away more than she had to be. She'd missed out on the early years of her eldest children's' childhoods. She was determined not to let that happen with Max.

"Max, why don't you go finish your snack while your brother and Magnus get settled in?"

The little boy looked to Alec, eyes narrowed behind his glasses. "If I go, do you promise promise _promise _to play with me later?"

"For hours and hours and _hours_!"

Max squealed and ran into the house, his mother and brother chuckling after him. Maryse met us halfway down the drive, engulfing us in her arms. "Oh, how I've missed my boys. Let me look at you." She stepped away, looking us up and down. I thrived on being checked out, but not by my boyfriend's mom. Her smile didn't quite meet her eyes when she faced me. I guess I should have known she would notice my tremendous weight loss, even though I was thin to begin with.

Thankfully I had an amazing partner. Alec chose that moment to strike a pose. "Don't we look fabulous?" I wrapped my arms around his torso and rested my chin on his shoulder with a big smile.

Maryse shook her head and smiled.

"Wait!" A blur of raven hair and designer jeans took place on the right of us, lifting her hands in the hair and sticking her butt out slightly, "Okay, _now _we're fabulous."

"Izzy!" I exclaimed, picking her up and spinning her around. We laughed until we cried, clinging to one another. Alec watched with a bemused look on his face.

"She hasn't seen me in three months and she's hanging all over my boyfriend." Alec took our luggage and carried it inside. Maryse followed, leaving Isabelle and I to gab. I heard Max giggling from inside. Alec would be preoccupied for a while.

"So how is my amazing best friend enduring college life? Any cute boys?"

I shot her a mischievous glance. "Cute boys, hot boys, sexy on a stick boys, delicious eye candy everywhere." So I caught the eye of a hot guy every now and then. It doesn't mean I'm not infatuated with Alec.

"Oo la la. I can't wait for college life."

"I thought you were happy with Simon?"

She hopped onto my back for a piggy ride. I hitched my hands under her thighs as she slid her arms around my neck. "They are. Doesn't mean I shouldn't keep my options open."

I rolled my eyes and walked into the house. "You are ruthless, my friend."

"And Simon better not forget it." She kissed my cheek then pinched me on the bum. "Now mush, my pack mule! To the den!"

"Pack mule my ass." I jumped in the air, causing a shrieking Izzy to slip off my back and hit the floor. Needless to say, I ran for my life.

"Magnus Veronica Bane! I'm going to castrate you!" I made a beeline for the stairs, almost smacking into Max as I went. Then I had a devious idea.

"First of all, that is not my middle name. Secondly", I grabbed Max, hoisted him onto my shoulders, and smiled devilishly. "I have a human shield!" I took off running again, Max hysterical on my shoulders. We laughed as we gained ground on Isabelle. I rounded a corner and ran smack into the most gorgeous obstacle.

"Brother, we gotta hide from Izzy!" Max cried, bouncing up and down in his seat atop my shoulders. Alec and I grinned at each other and nodded. I threw Max off my shoulders and into Alec's arms, running ahead to secure a room for us to barricade in.

A familiar room made itself known to me again, and I threw open the door. "In here, loves!" Alec and Max were in the room within seconds, slamming the door shut. Alec slumped against the door, slightly out of breath. I shamelessly ogled the way his chest rose and fell with his breath. If Max hadn't of been here, I would have jumped his bones.

"See something you like, baby?" he whispered seductively. I swallowed hard, trying to push down the desire rising in me. His ten year old brother was four feet away for GaGa's sake.

"Alec, we gotta be quiet so Izzy doesn't find us!" Max was tugging on both of our hands, anxious to hide from his sister. He looked around, assessing the situation. "What are we gonna do?"

I glanced around the room filled with my and Alec's art work on the walls, looking for places the three of us could hide. The room had a spacious closet filled with forgotten items, but Isabelle would certainly look in there first. My eyes climbed up the wall, and to my delight, I found a perfect spot for tiny Max.

"Hey Maxy, doesn't that door in the wall lead to the laundry chute system?"

He gasped in shock and awe. "Chyeah!" He ran to the wall and opened the door to the portal that would shield him from the evils of sisterdom. He glanced back at us, a pleading look in his eyes. "Um…I can't reach. I'm too small."

Alec reached him in no time, lifting him to his hidden perch. "Okay, if you get scared or something, knock on the wall three times."

Max nodded excitedly. "Okay. What if the cost is clear or Izzy gives up?"

"I'll knock on the wall five times and screech 'Caca! Caca!'" Max laughed and hugged Alec before escaping to his hide away. Alec closed the door, assuring Max that you couldn't see him through the slight crack where the door met the wall. "Can you see me?" he asked his mini clone.

After a few moments of contemplative silence, the boy replied "No".

Alec grinned. "Then I can't see you. Now be super quiet!"

Max didn't answer, playing his part well. Alec whipped his head around to face me, a cock hardening smirk on his face. He sauntered his way to me, licking his lips. I didn't know what it was, but he was positively radiating sex. Without a word, he took my hand and pulled me after him into the closet. The space was small and we ended up facing each other, chest to chest. He slipped his hands into mine, entwining our fingers.

"Alec, love, you just came out of the closet. Do we really want to send you back so soon?"

The smirk grew. "I have no intentions of going in alone. Now hush or Izzy will find us."

He must not have thought I could keep quiet on my own because not a second later he attacked me with his lips. I met him with just as much force. With me being so depressed the past few months, I hadn't really been in the mood to be "affectionate." We were making up for lost time.

"Alec! Max is-"

"Max can't see us or hear us if we keep quiet," he reasoned. "Now shut up and love me."

Who could argue with that? I pressed him against the wall, latching onto him as a leech would its host. His nails were digging into my hips. I wouldn't be shocked to find dried blood there later. I broke the kiss to ravish his neck, leaving a trail of hickies as I went. His back arched off the wall, making our constricted area even smaller. My hands made their way to his ass, hoisting him up as he wrapped his legs around my waist. I could feel the breath heave its way out of his chest as I used my right hand to hold him and moved my left to pin his hands above his head. A bead of sweat made its way from Alec's temple to his jaw. I decided to follow suit, kissing his temple and down his jawline.

"Magnus", he whimpered out. He buried his hands in my ear, eliciting a moan from me. He knew my hot spot and was using it his full advantage. I nearly lost it when he grinded his hips into me. I really wished Max wasn't here in the room right now.

"Not much I can do for you here in this space, love," came my strained whisper. I settled for sliding my hands up his shirt, dragging my nails across his perfect skin. He hissed at the contact, doing monstrous things for my nether regions.

_Bang! Bang! _

We were startled from our heated make out session, taking only a moment before realizing that Max must have been knocking on the wall. His high pitched giggle followed, alerting us that Isabelle had found him.

I barely had time to set Alec down and straighten out my shirt before the closet door swung open. "Jesus you two. I'd say get a room, but I guess technically you did. Although, I don't think Magnus could get back in the closet, no matter how hard he tried."

If it had been Isabelle how'd said that, I would have laughed and kissed Alec some more.

But it wasn't Isabelle.

Alec rolled his eyes and took Max from Jace, handing him to me. "I'll be back in five seconds."

"Make that five _minutes,_" Jace corrected. Alec tackled Jace to the ground and they proceeded to wrestle or fight or whatever it is boys do.

"Older brothers are so weird," Max retorted, watching the brothers in question beat the crap out of each other and laughing all the while.

"_Boys_ are weird," I corrected. He nodded his head and his glasses slid down his face. I chuckled, carrying him out of the room with a last glance at the handy work Alec and I had slung on the walls all those months ago.

**A/N: It's Ella again because Bee is… well I don't know where she is. Sorry for any mistakes, neither one of us have the fortitude to edit… DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!**


	5. Home, Love, Family

**A/N: College is kicking my ass.**

**Hello again my pretties! I hope you are all doing well with the "School Has Taken Over Again" time in your lives, for those of you who go to school. I've already skipped an 8 am class. I know, I know, I'm a horrible influence on you all. I'm a bad Bee.**

**Also, I just wanted to toss in an "If you guys have any questions, anything at all, feel free to PM me." I'm not one of those authors who posts and then hides in the bat cave. (Yes Ella, I just referenced Chapter 22 of "Innocent". If you people aren't reading Ella's other stories, you need to fix that right now.)**

**As for Max and Alec's relationship, I am drawing on my own experiences with my ten year old brother. He and I are inseparable when we're together.**

**And yes, I used the term "happy hole". Because it makes me giggle like a maniac.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned The Mortal Instruments, I would visit every city and demand they cover their front doors with glitter and runes. If they didn't comply with my demands, I would send a plague to all their houses. So be glad I don't.**

(Alec's POV)

Two bruises and a stumped toe later, Jace and I abandoned our wrestling and closed the door behind us. We descended down the stairs laughing; Jace with an arm slung around my shoulder and trying to noogie me. I side stepped him just in time, but to my dismay, missed the last few steps, landing gracefully on my ass.

"Nice landing. I give it a seven for style."

"Oh come on" I said, rubbing my sore bum as I stood. "That was at least eight and a half."

Jace resumed his position beside me, looking more than a little amused. "Why are you grimacing? I thought you were used to having your ass pounded by now?"

I blushed, glaring at my brother. "Mine and Magnus' sex life is none of your business."

He held up his hands in mock surrender. "Okay, alright. My bad." The shit eating grin on his face alerted me that this conversation was far from over. "Just FYI, my sex life is amaaazing."

I gagged in response, momentarily wondering where Magnus and Max had run off to. "TMI bro. I love Clary and all but…"

His smile took on a new characterization. He looked like he was torn between being excited or scared to death. "Alec? I need your honest gay man opinion on something."

I snorted. "I am so not your go to gay. If you want help with fashion or some shit I'll be happy to get Magnus."

"Says the man wearing the sparkling Lady GaGa shirt. But no, I need _you_ for this."

I sighed, not looking forward to whatever antic my brother was about to drag me into. "Fine. What is it?"

Jace fished in his jacket pocket for something. I prayed he wasn't going to pull the "which one of these condoms would Clary get the most pleasure out of?" card. I'd been down that embarrassing road before. She'd hated the one I'd picked.

When I came back to the present Jace was holding a black box in the palm of his hand. My eyes widened as he opened it, revealing the last thing I thought I would see.

"It's a promise ring. The hearts may be too girly for her, but it's shiny, and I know it's the right size. What do you think?"

I stared at the pre wedding ring, stunned into silence. I cleared my throat. "Jace…are you serious?"

He nodded curtly. "As a heart attack. I love her. More than life. Life wouldn't exist for me if Clary weren't in it."

Holy crap, Jace was being sentimental. I knew it was rooted in there deep, but it still appalled when his feelings made an appearance. "I didn't know you felt so strongly. You guys haven't been dating very long."

"Longer than you and Magnus."

"Magnus and I have nothing to do with this conversation. And it wasn't an accusation. If this is really what you want, then I say go for it. And you'd better get me super drunk before I give the best man speech."

He laughed, slipping the ring and its box back into his jacket. "No problem." He looked both ways down the hallway before giving me a hug. It wasn't one of those man hugs either. This was an honest to God, arms around my torso hug. I blinked away my confusion, hugging him back. Today was an off day for Jace's emotions.

The door bang rang, startling us both and tearing us apart. He grinned, jogging the distance to the front door. I made my way to Max's room, where I expected him and Magnus to be. Before I rounded the corner, I saw Jace pick up Clary and spin her around, kissing her. I smiled to myself. I couldn't remember a time my brother was so giddy and let his emotions out of solitary confinement.

I walked through the familiar halls of my childhood home, remembering when Izzy and I had both broken our wrists from sliding down the stair railing. I had a dull ache from it now and then, but nothing I couldn't handle. We laughed every time it was brought up.

I heard a giggle I knew all too well and felt my heart swell. It was true what I had told Max earlier- I did miss him the most. We nerded out over comics together. I promised to take him to Comic-Con next year. Little did he know I had the tickets on reserve for his birthday.

"Can he swing from a web? We don't know. He's never tried. Look out! It is the Spider Max!"

I walked in just in time to see Magnus standing on top of Max's bed, holding him upside down with his feet planted on the ceiling, walking upside down and failing miserably. Magnus let go of him and caught him before he hit the bed, swinging him right side up and tickling him. The joy that filled this room filled my body as well.

It was so good to be home.

"Alec! Magnus played Spider Max with me!"

"He did? That sounds like fun." I ruffled his hair as his small arms wrapped around me. He was incredibly small for a ten year old, not growing much at all in the past few years. We never worried though- his pediatrician swore up and down Max was perfectly healthy.

"It sure was. Magnus is almost a better play mate than you. Definitely better than Jace and Isabelle. They try, but they don't even come close to you!" His big eyes shone brilliantly with the innocence and excitement that only a child had. "But don't be jealous. Magnus could never ever replace you, Alec."

I chuckled. "Thanks buddy. Magnus is a close second though right?"

"Right!" he exclaimed, turning to Magnus and grinning from ear to ear. "I'm glad you and my brother love each other cuz now I have three awesome big brothers."

Magnus smiled. "And I have the most amazing little brother in the world." Max unlatched himself from me to go glue himself to my boyfriend. I watched them, loving Magnus a little more. I didn't know it was possible, but seeing him respond so well to my baby brother, that would forever hold a special place in my heart.

Max pulled away from Magnus, the ever present grin still on his tiny face. "I should go find Izzy. I promised her I would help her organize her nail polish since I'm better at color schemes than her, whatever that means." He bounded down the hall, calling our sisters name at the top of his lungs.

"He is too cute. I want one."

I sat on the bed beside him. "He called you his big brother. Didn't you hear him?"

He smiled. "Oh yeah, I did. I meant I want a kid." I blanched, so he quickly added, "Not any time soon."

I relaxed a little. "I think I do too, some day." Helping raise Max had always been one of the joys of my life. Mom took over a lot once Magnus' mother died. I think she realized life is too short to be drowning in work and ignoring your family. I knew she meant well in her own warped way. I prefer the new mom over the old any day though.

"Have I ever mentioned to you that I love you?" I asked Magnus.

"Mmm, actually I think you have several times. I never get tired of hearing it, however." He leaned over and kissed me chastely. I smiled against his lips, wrapping my arms around his neck. He pulled away then, brushing my unruly hair out of my eyes. His forehead rested against mine with the gentlest of pressure. We stood there for an immeasurable amount of time, soaking each other in. Nothing mesmerized me more than the hypnotic pull of Magnus' eyes.

"I'm sorry for how I've acted lately. I never meant to push you away. I've wasted so much time."

"I know that", I assured him. "And you didn't. I'm right here. We have all the time in the world, sweetheart."

"How do you know?" His question threw me off guard, and the vulnerability in his eyes stole my breath. Magnus was getting better; there was no doubt about that. Nevertheless, he was still broken.

I took his delicate face in my hands. "I don't know for sure, Magnus. All I know is that you and I have a great thing going here, and I will fight to the death to make sure it never ends. Time stops when I'm with you. That's good enough for me."

He smiled and buried his face in the crook of my neck. As I rubbed his back I could barely hear his soft reply of "me too". I kissed the top of his head, pulling away slowly. "Do you want to go to my room? We don't have to unpack right now. We can just…uhm…"

"Do what we're doing in the privacy of your room" he tactfully finished for me. I blushed lightly and nodded. Magnus took my hand, squeezing with the gentlest of pressure. It didn't matter where in the world I was. As long as I was connected to Magnus, physically, spiritually, emotionally, whatever; I would be home.

(Magnus' POV)

Alec's head rested on my chest. He'd only just fallen asleep. I figured we'd have at least another hour before Robert was home and dinner was served. Jace and Clary had gone to her favorite café to see some art display she had been babbling about since she got here. He sure was eager to take her…weird.

I ran my fingers through my beloved's hair, enjoying the relaxing sound of his rhythmic breathing. It was amazing to be able to just…be. School didn't exist for the next week, we didn't have homework. There were no worries.

Alec snorted and slung his arm over my torso. I had to fight to keep the giggle fit inside me. I rubbed his back, smiling down at the most amazing thing in my life. Why had I ever thought I needed more than this? I had this boy's heart in the palm of my hand. I was completely shrouded in his adoration. Sometimes it was like I was drowning. I couldn't breathe. I loved the feeling.

Nothing could be more perfect.

All of a sudden his body shifted and I was instantly pinned. The mischievous smile planted on his face was delicious.

"You little cock tease."

He bit my bottle lip, causing a shiver to rack up my spine. I thought I might shatter. "I have you right where I want you" he whispered huskily. "And there's nothing little about it."

Did my cock twitch? Yes it did.

His mouth dominated mine; letting me know then and there he was in charge. I closed my eyes, reeling at the feeling of his calloused hands against my skin. My breathing was already labored and he had barely begun. How he managed to get both of our shirts off without breaking away from my mouth was beyond me.

Thank God we had the good sense to lock the door when we came in.

His hands traveled down my sides, leaving a trail of pleasure in their wake. I arched into him, begging silently for some sort of release. I was more than obliged when one of his hands slipped into the front of my pants, lengthening the life of my ever growing erection, while the other was working diligently to get my pants off. He raked a nail along the underneath of my, causing my body to jerk violently.

My pants were off, leaving me completely exposed to the elements and Alec. He moved a stray chunk of hair out of my face, staring at me. I met his gaze with the same intensity, neither of us willing to falter. I shifted my body; moving to crush his lips with mine. He cupped the back of my head, fisting a good portion of my gelled hair. I moaned into his mouth.

He brought one of his knees to rest right between my legs, brushing against me teasingly. The roughness of his jeans made me hiss. He was going to hold off as long as he could. Damn him.

"Alec," I gasped as his mouth found a nipple. My eyes rolled back into my head as he nipped and sucked, his knee brushing against me every five seconds or so. "Please."

I could see some of the resolve in his eyes crumble, much to my relief. He kissed me long and hard, releasing some of the pent up tension we'd been feeling since we'd got here. His fingertips caressed my burning skin. His lips traveled down my torso, leaving teeth marks behind. I was writhing in pleasure.

His lips were dangerously close to my most sacred place, his eyes burning into my soul. I shot him a smirk, daring him to go on. He licked his lips, dragging his tongue painfully slow across his bottom lip. I whimpered through the smirk, hoping he didn't hear. His chuckle shot down my dream.

Of course, my dream came true as he descended on me. I let out a strangled cry and thrashed my head against the pillows. It was all I could do not to thrust into his mouth. His teeth grazed along me expertly, his tongue dancing against my tip. My hips bucked against my will. Alec was amazing; he took it like a man and took _me_ all the way. All the breath left my body at that moment. I was floating on air. Well, more like on Alec's amazingly comfortable bed, but you know.

I tangled my hands into his hair, holding on for dear life. He hollowed out his cheeks, swallowing rapidly and doing devious things to my underside. I encouraged him with my unintelligible words, straining not to thrash around.

His hands caressed every inch of my body with the most gentle of touches. How Alec managed to be everywhere at once I couldn't fathom. Perhaps it was simply wherever he touch lit a spark that blazed out of control and wouldn't go out until he so commanded.

What he did next was literally an out of body experience for me. His hand slid down my thigh, working its way around to my bum. I felt a pressure between my boys and my happy hole. The sensation that coursed through me was indescribable. I had to bury my face into the side of the mattress to contain my scream. Alec seemed pleased with his result; pushing by oh so sensitive button over and over again while his other hand pumped me into oblivion.

I groaned low in my throat, choking on his name. He took the hint, taking all of me and rapidly flicking his tongue over the tip. I cried out into the pillow again, stars shooting behind my eyes. He swallowed me whole with full on force until I was bone dry.

My hair was plastered to my forehead with sweat. I tried to control my panting as Alec crawled up beside me. He pulled his comforter around us, shielding my naked and trembling form from the outside world. He grinned.

"That was other worldly, I managed to pant out. I rested my head on his chest, kissing his chest. I couldn't remember when his shirt had come off. I didn't really care at this point.

My love chuckled, kissing the top of my head. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. Seeing as you didn't say one intelligible word during all that, I was getting worried you'd had a stroke."

I swatted his chest, earning a laugh from him. I laughed too, enjoying the feeling of being so close to Alec. This was amazing. Why had I given this up?

"Babe?"

I blinked, glancing up at him. "Yeah?"

He turned on his side, taking my hands in his. "I want you to promise me something, here and now."

I nodded. "Anything."

He rubbed the pad of his thumbs across my knuckles; his gaze never breaking. He leaned in, gently brushing his lips against mine. It was lighter than a butterfly's wing. My insides melted and I sighed into his kiss.

He pulled away; his smile dazzling. "I want you to promise me that no matter how you're feeling, whether you're having nightmares about Roger and Lora, or you're mad at me, no matter what it is, if you're feeling down, I want to know. I am here for you. I promise you, Magnus, I'm not going to run away at the first sign of trouble. Relationships are work, and ours will be even harder because we're gay. I love you more than life. You are the only one for me, and I want all of you."

A few tears had fallen since he began his mini speech, especially when he called my parents by name. He kissed them away, pulling me into his arms. We stayed like that until Isabelle knocked on the door, announcing Robert was home and that the oven had gone out mid meal preparation, so we were going out for dinner and to be ready in twenty minutes. I swiped at my teary eyes with the heel of my hand, sniffling and willing the flood of emotion to go away.

Alec slid out of bed, gathering my clothes and his shirt. He took my face in his hand, using the cuff of his sleeve to wash away the makeup that had run from my eyes. "Even when you're a sniveling mess, you are beautiful." He kissed my forehead. "Now promise me."

I nodded whole heartedly, a small smile gracing my face. "I promise, Alec."

"Good. Now let's get you dressed and ready to eat! I'm starving."

"Even after you devoured my magnificent self?"

The blush that crept up Alec's face was priceless. He pounced on top of me, tickling me until I couldn't breathe. We laughed and rolled around in his bed; said magnificent self still in the buff. He lay on top of me again; our eyes locked in an intense battle. I giggled as he laughed, rubbing our noses together.

"I think you should come to dinner in a sheet. That'd be so hot."

I pondered for a moment. "As tempting as that sounds, I'd rather not freak your parents and Max out."

I could have sworn he pouted before he burst into laughter, getting off the bed and pulling me to my feet. He kissed me, and then commanded me to get dressed before Izzy busted the door down.

My makeup was a mess, my clothes were wrinkled and my hair had deflated, but it didn't matter. Alec thought I was beautiful. That's all I cared about.

I joined him at the top of the staircase where we descended the stairs hand in hand.

* * *

><p>"You should see your face!" Jace laughedsnorted as Isabelle had a mini breakdown. Max looked like he was about to cry. As always, Alec swooped in to rescue him.

"I-I didn't mean to! It was an accident!" The little boy had accidently spilled his glass of Hawaiian Fruit Punch all over Izzy's new white cocktail dress. She had run off to the bathroom in a panic with Clary in tow, leaving Jace gasping for breath and Simon preparing for the upcoming bitch fit to come.

Alec was now kneeling beside Max, cleaning him as Robert and Maryse quickly took care of the mess on the table. "We know, buddy. Accidents happen."

"But Momma and Daddy and Izzy are gonna be so mad! I ruined dinner!" Large tears brimmed behind his glasses and my heart instantly broke for him.

"Do they look mad?" Alec inquired, inclining his head towards his parents. Max glanced at them shyly, and they in turn made funny faces at their youngest child. Max giggled wildly and shook his head. "Nuh uh, they look silly."

Alec smiled. "Okay then. And the best part is, our food isn't even here yet! So you'll have time to get a refill before you die of thirst before dinner."

"Yeah!" the little ball of energy agreed. Robert ruffled his hair, smiling at his sons in adoration. My heart both soared and dropped at the sight.

_I sat in my room, glancing at the window. It was raining outside and Mom was really sick today. There was absolutely nothing for me to do. I sighed, turning around in my chair, racking my brain for anything to do. _

_I silently walked passed Mom and Dad's room toward her dress closet. I opened the door, my eyes lighting up at the sight. All of my mother's party dresses, gleaming at me. I took several off their hangers and scurried quietly back to my room, closing the door._

_The first dress I tried on was a deep green, making my eyes pop. I put my hair up into a messy bun, a few strands framing my face. I rummaged through some of Mom's makeup, adding eyeliner, mascara, and lip stick. _

_I bowed to no one in particular and began prancing around the room. I laughed and squealed, twisting and turning in the dress._

_I didn't notice the door open, and to my horror Dad was standing in the door way. I stood frozen in place, feeling the tears gather. _

_It was strange. He didn't look upset or sad. He looked serene. He smiled at me, holding out a hand. "May I have this dance?"_

_I sniffled despite his seemingly calm demeanor. "B-But there's no music", I whispered roughly._

_Dad made his way to where I was standing and offered his hand. "That's alright. We'll make our own music."_

_I took his hand wearily, not entirely sure where this was headed. He placed his other hand on my waste and began to hum all "The Sound of Music" songs he could think of. HE dipped me, twirled me, and even tossed me over his shoulder and spun around in circles. _

_We danced for at least two hours._

"_Magnus, I am so proud of you for not being afraid to be who you are. Please don't feel likeyou need to hide any part of yourself form me. You are so precious to me, son. You can do no wrong by me. Magnus. Magnus…"_

"Magnus?"

I snapped out of my flashback, blinking away the tears that threatened to fall. "Hmm?"

"You drifted off for a minute. Are you okay?"

Alec and Max both looked at me expectantly. I smiled, clucking Max under his chin, eliciting a giggle. "I'm just perfect."

"Yeah you are." Alec leaned over and kissed me, which I eagerly returned. I was so thrilled that he was getting over his fear of PDA. Simon and Jace made gagging noises from across the table, but Alec and I just laughed.

Maryse hushed them both to my and Alec's pleasure. Izzy and Clary returned then. Max ducked his head into his chest, refusing to look at Izzy. She came around the table and kissed his cheek. "Maxie, look at me." He obliged, and she spun full circle in her white and red dyed dress. "I look better than ever!"

Max smiled shyly and Isabelle hugged him to her. Alec smiled his relief, and Robert watched his children with adoration.

Clary took her seat beside Jace, reclaiming his hand under the table. He kissed her on the cheek. He was being very…sweet today from what I observed. I guess it was from all the family being back together.

Even Robert and Maryse were being romantic. He had pulled her chair out for her when we arrived, and he even kissed her. Alec and I were appalled. I don't think any of the Lightwood children had seen them display affection in public. They were strictly business. It was a welcomed change.

Alec squeezed my hand and leaned his head on my shoulder. I kissed his temple, engaed in a conversation about fashion and art with the girls while Simon, Jace and Alec talked sports. Robert and Maryse were deeply enthralled with the story Max was telling them about his adventure with Chairman Meow earlier that afternoon.

Even though I had lost so much in the past year, I had gained even more. Maryse and Robert acted as honorary parents, taking me in when I needed them the most. Max was the little brother I had always longed for. Izzy and I were best friends and supreme fashion divas. Clary and I could talk art until the cows came home. Jace matched me in witty remarks, so playful banter was always welcome. Simon was a great person to indulge in movies with, no matter the genre. I knew his directing career would take off one day.

And then Alec, the love of my life. My shelter in the storm.

I had gained more love than I thought one person was capable of having. Life was astounding, and I had newfound strength. I was determined to live it to the fullest, no matter what may come my way.

**A/N- BEEEEE WHY ARE YOU SO FANTASTIC? Have you… I just… she is so… I can't even… Since I'm not coherent because Bee's amazingness has stunned me, maybe you all can review and explain to me how awesome she is. That's me hinting that you should review no matter what I say. Make it happen.  
>Please?<br>-Ella and Bee, who is fucking awesome. Oh, excuse my language :3**


	6. Bed of Roses

**A/N- Who hates college? *This girl***

**I could name off thousands of reason why it took me so long for this chapter, but you don't want to hear it. I'll keep it short- midterms, piano class from hell, friends with emotional breakdowns, and play projects every day. I'm a busy Bee. I'm spitting out chapters as soon as I can.**

**I hate that I can't give you guys a deadline, but I can't say "The next chapter will be next week on Friday" or whatever, because I just can't do that. I'll get them up when I can get them up. I hate that that's how it is, because I love you guys and your amazingly positive reviews, but I have to bust my ass in school or my scholarships go bye bye.**

**So this story is NEVER going to be discontinued or on hiatus, it just may be slow in updates. That's why I try to write 9 to 10 page chapters, so you'll have long chappies to come to.**

**Enough of my babbling!**

**Disclaimer- If I owned the Mortal Instruments I'd demand Clary, Jace, Izzy, and Simon to carry me through the streets of New York on a canopy thrown while Alec and Magnus are oiled up and feeding me and Ella and Alexis grapes. So be glad I don't.**

Alec's POV:

Max tried in vain to hide the yawn that escaped his mouth. His glasses had slipped almost completely down his nose as he nodded off on my lap, watching Disney movies with the rest of us. "The Lion King" had just finished. I'm surprised Magnus, Isabelle, and Jace didn't wake him up with their constant off key singing. Clary and Simon were actually worth listening to.

"Alright mister, time for bed." Magnus moved his head from my shoulder as I stood up with Max, carrying him bridal style. I smiled my thanks at him, moving towards the stairs.

"But I'm not sleeeeepy", Max drawled, exhaustion laced in his voice. He rubbed his eyes.

Isabelle stood with us, coming over and kissing Max's forehead. "You've got to get some sleep, Maxie. Remember tomorrow your art class is going on that field trip."

"Oh yeah!" Max crawled around to get on my back, swinging his arms around my neck and digging his heels playfully into my sides. "Onward, Alec! I must slumber!"

The noise that came out of my mouth was definitely not human, but I'm not so sure it was horse-like either. I galloped around the coffee table once, and then bounded up the stairs. Wild giggles filled my ears as I bounced my brother up and down with every step. I took one last glance downstairs. Jace was smiling, but it didn't reach his eyes. I shot him a glance, but he shook me off. Luckily for me, we were masters of bro code.

I twirled in a circle as I entered Max's room, and then tossed him on the bed. His laughter shook the house. I laughed with him, tucking him in and setting his glasses on his night stand.

"So tomorrow when I come home…you'll be here right?"

I sat next to him, holding out a pinky. He grinned and locked his with mine. "Of course I will be. And I'll have Spiderman ready and waiting."

He yawned. "I'm glad I traded Spiderman for movies. Magnus sings funny."

I snorted. "Yeah he does, but we won't tell him that." Max shook his head as he buried himself under his superhero collaged comforter. I hugged him, made sure his Ben Ten nightlight was on, and turned off the lights. As I made my way to turn off the lights, a bit of green poking out of the blankets caught my eye.

Max grinned. "Jace took me to Build A Bear yesterday. He made one too. I got a green bear because it's my favorite color. "

I smiled. "Looks like you had fun."

"Yep", he said through a yawn. "Will you tell Jace I love him?"

"I can send him up here if you like." He nodded. "Alright. Good night Max. Love you."

"Love you too, Alec."

I stepped out and shut the door half way, climbing down the stairs two at a time. I made my way back into the living room, where the menu screen for Fast and Furious sat waiting. I unceremoniously plopped myself in Magnus's lap, snuggling him. "Hey Jace, Max wants you upstairs."

He took off like a rocket, practically jumping over the stairs to the second floor, and disappeared into Max's room.

"Welp, might as well get comfy too while he's gone." Isabelle rolled herself into Simon who in turn wrapped his arms around her. He knew not to get too touchy feely with me five feet away. We were friends, Simon and I, but Izzy was my baby sister. I'd cut off his dick and make him eat it if he tried anything in my presence.

Warm arms enveloped me and I lost all sense of everything around me. I leaned into the embrace, soaking up the warmth. I turned my head to nuzzle the crook of his neck, earning a pleased sigh in response. Our hands found each other's. There wasn't a need for words.

Jace returned shortly, pushing play before scooping Clary onto his lap. He kissed the nape of her neck, the blush creeping up her cheeks rivaling my own. It was rewarding to see my brother so happy for once.

"Vin Diesel, come to momma."

The moans that simultaneously escaped Izzy and Clary alerted us that every vagina in the room had exploded. Jace and Simon looked threatened, while Magnus and I were perfectly content with one another.

"Why aren't you having a happy in your pants, Magnus? Don't find Vinny attractive?" Izzy asked around a mouthful of popcorn.

I felt Magnus shrug behind me. "I'm more of a Sung Kang fan. And I've got plenty of muscle right here." He ran his fingers over my abs, earning a shiver as a response. He wrapped his arms around me, bringing me even closer to him. I sighed contently.

"Your love sickens me."

"Well, your ogling of Vin Diesel sickens me, so ha."

"Brilliant comeback, dear brother." Izzy tossed popcorn at me. I caught it in my mouth, munching on the salty treat.

"What a talented mouth you have, my dear" Magnus drawled, nibbling on my ear lobe. I choked on air, barely able to respond.

"A-All the better to…you know."

Everyone in the room nearly vomited, so I covered Magnus's lips with my own, silencing him. He didn't seem to mind too much.

As the movie continued, Izzy and Simon ended up in the same pallet, her head on his chest. He combed his fingers through her hair. My sister looked content. As much as it made my blood boil when I saw her so close to any boy, be it Simon or not, I knew I needed to relax. She was a smart girl. I knew she would come to me if she needed me. As I glanced over again, the two had fallen asleep. I smiled to myself. Isabelle settling down; I never thought I'd see the day.

Magnus and Clary had fallen asleep, leaving me, myself, and Jace the last ones awake. I poked him with my toes, deciding to confront him about his strange behavior earlier. "Hey, is everything okay with you and Max?" I inquired quietly.

He nodded, shifting Clary in his lap. "Yeah. I took him to Build a Bear yesterday. I figured it might be something he'd like."

"Oh yeah, he loved it. He was clinging to his bear when I tucked him in."

Jace grinned. "I guess I did good huh? Finally."

I frowned. "Max adores you, Jace. He looks up to you."

"Not as much as he does you. I try really hard with him, but I never feel like I'm doing right by him."

I was shocked. I never knew that Jace felt this way. "You're amazing to him. Max loves you so much. Remember that time you were in Italy three summers ago with Mom? He cried himself to sleep the first week he missed you so much."

"H-He did?" I nodded. Jace was lost in thought for what seemed liked forever. "I-I didn't think he liked me at all."

"Jace, he talks about you all the time. He loves it when you two hang out. Look, there are always going to be things that Max does just with me, and things he does just with you. He loves the both of us with every fiber in that tiny body of his."

Jace nodded and smirked. "Thanks Alec. I…I really needed that."

"No prob. Now", I said, turning the movie off mid ending credits, "this one and I are going to call it a night. See you tomorrow?"

"Definitely. Oh, Max asked me to take him to his school to drop him off in the morning. Is that cool?"

I picked Magnus up, cradling his sleeping form in my arms. "Dude, he's your brother too. I can share."

He chuckled, tucking Clary under their blankets. "Thanks. Night bro."

"Night." I stepped over my sister's sleeping form, careful not to step on her or Simon.

I managed to make it to my room with no stumped toes. I deposited my boyfriend on my bed, pulling the navy blue comforter over his frame. I brushed the hair from his eyes. He looked so peaceful, which I was deeply grateful for considering the past few months.

After a moment of staring at a universal phenomenon I striped out of my clothes and exchanged them for pajamas. As I discarded them into the hamper, I heard the smallest giggle.

"We've been together how long and you're still so modest. It's adorable."

I grinned, slipping into bed beside him. He opened his arms and I welcomed his embrace. I rested my head in the crook of his neck, glancing up at him. "We may be in my bed, but this is my parent's house, and my little brother is asleep down the hall."

Magnus stretched his long legs, entangling them with mine. "I'm sure Jace and Clary get it on in his room on a regular basis."

I swatted at his chest. "Not the brother I meant and you know it." He smirked, signaling he did indeed know. I was immediately determined to wipe it off. I rolled on top of him, Magnus resting his hands on my hips and grinning like a mad man. "Although, if we can keep quiet…"

"All it takes is practice, love. And you know how we practice?"

"By doing" I whispered against the skin of his collar bone.

"That's the idea." He wasted little time in taking my face in his hands and kissing me senseless. I couldn't help but smile. His hands somehow managed to hold both my body and my heart at the same time, truly a magician.

We kissed until our air ran low, and even then Magnus was only away from me for a moment. As my breath came raggedly Magnus's lips descended on my neck, my skin feverish with desire. He nibbled along my collarbone, leaving a necklace of hickies behind. I moaned low in my throat.

"Uh uh uh", Magnus chided. "Not a sound, my love." His kisses resumed, trailing along my chest. It took everything within me not to cry out. I was writhing beneath him, mad with want.

I tugged at the hem of his shirt, demanding it off. He complied; the only noise being that of the fabric against his skin, and the soft thud as the shirt made contact with the floor. I slid my hands down his chest and toned stomach, wanting both to touch him and begin to remove his cursed skinny jeans. I blushed immediately as I slid the zipper down. My hands had made contact with his straining erection. Magnus was commando.

He was calm, allowing me to stroke him and take it all in. As many times as I had seen Magnus in his full glory, I still wasn't quite used to the gloriousness. More comfortable, yes, but my God, you'd think the man was part horse.

I fumbled the jeans off his legs, sliding them onto the floor. Only one more article stood between us being flesh to flesh, and he had already begun. My boxers were to my knees before I processed the feel of his hand gently fondling me. My head hit the pillow with a whimper. I could feel him smiling as I heard my boxers join his on the floor.

He scooted up, once again taking his face in my hands. The pads of his thumbs ran smoothly across my cheeks. He stared at me for an immeasurable amount of time. I felt my cheeks begin to burn. "M-Magnus?" I asked quietly, suddenly unsure of myself.

"Hmm?"

"W-What are you staring at?" I swallowed hard, afraid of the look on his face. It was so intense, more so than I've ever seen him look.

"You. Only you. Every inch of you, Alexander Lightwood."

I buried my head into his shoulder. He chuckled, kissing my shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"I knew you were staring at me, silly. I…I guess I meant what are you thinking?"

He sighed as I recomposed myself and lay back on the pillows, watching him. He brushed the unruly hair out of my eyes, his own drinking me in. "I'm thinking how unworthy I am to have such a wonderful person in my life. And nevertheless, I do. And I get to love him for the rest of my life."

I leaned up and kissed him, as gentle as I could muster under the hot circumstances. "Magnus Bane, you are right about one thing. You do get to love me for the rest of our lives, if you'll have me that long. But you're going to have to suffer through a long and torturous stride of blue balls if you keep saying you're unworthy or a horrible boyfriend to me or whatever. Because you're amazing. I know it, and it's damn time you did too."

He grinned. "That blue balls threat isn't going to work this time around, is it?"

"No. Now agree to my terms so we can shut up and Alec can get pounded."

He laughed, and I crashed my lips to his to keep him quiet. Every bone in my body ached for relief. I threaded my hands through his hair and pulled, knowing it would get a rise out of him. Magnus moaned into my mouth, our tongues battling for dominance. He pushed me back down, raking his nails down my sides.

All at once, I heard a small "pop" and within seconds a very talented finger slide inside me. I bucked my hips into Magnus's hand. He must have had lube in his pocket and set it on the mattress when we undressed. The brilliant perverted man. He added a second and I nearly cried out in pleasure, choking in my efforts to be silent. He brushed against my most sensitive spot, the core of all pleasures. I bucked again as he nipped the inside of my thigh. I bit down hard on my lip, shivering in delight.

"Magnus", I begged. "_Please_."

He released me from my prison, scooting up and hitching my leg around his hip. He kissed me long and slow, pushing in just as languidly. I willed myself to relax and hold in the loud moan I longed to release, his name behind my lips. Magnus filled me to the brim, and I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding when the front of his thighs hit the back of mine.

"You okay?"

I nodded. "Gets easier every time."

He still looked concerned, so I bucked into him and got my point across. He pulled out slowly and wasted no time in ramming back in. The noise that erupted from me was certainly not human.

Magnus continued this pace, keeping one hand balancing himself while the other was busy over my mouth to quiet my frantic moans. I would be embarrassed later, but for now I couldn't care less. I was in pure ecstasy, and I wasn't coming down any time soon.

I loved watching Magnus when we made love. His muscles rippled and twitched throughout his body, the strain to keep his weight off me doing miraculous things to my crotch. I dug my nails into his shoulders to keep from screaming.

He eventually moved his hand to steady himself more. I crossed my heels together and scooted down. Altering our position just so sent Magnus deeper than before. If I was seeing stars now…

"Faster", I begged him. I wasn't sure how he did it, but he complied. The friction of my cock rubbing against his stomach was delicious. Maybe I'd ask to have my room soundproofed for Christmas.

My hands were everywhere, dancing to a frantic rhythm against his skin. Our sweat mixed together, making us slide against one another. I barely noticed our frenzied panting. I was too absorbed in Magnus's eyes and body for that.

His lips crashed into mine, sucking and biting at my already swollen lips. I was surprised our teeth had managed not to clash together as passionate as we were. I tasted blood soon after, not knowing if it was mine or his, and not particularly caring. This was perfect; blood and all.

My name rolled off his lips, dripping in lust and love, and I crumbled. We were so close to the edge.

"Wait for me, Alec", he whispered huskily. I willed my body to comply. Every muscle in my body was constricted, aching for that beautiful release, wanting his release in return. Every nerve ending sang his name; a symphony of heaven and hell. While I was entirely spent, all I wanted was more. So much more.

My nails were buried in the sheets, my back arched as high as I could manipulate it. Magnus's moan was my breaking point. I met his thrust with my own, the backs of his thighs smacking into me with such force that I knew I'd have a bruise later. I didn't care in the slightest.

He rode out his climax as he pumped the length of me, coaxing me along with him. I was sure I was brain dead. This was the highest cloud I had ever been on. I had no intention of coming down any time soon.

Magnus collapsed on my chest, clearly marking his exhaustion. I wrapped one arm around his torso and used my free arm to extend my hand to his hair. I stroked his silky smooth ebony locks, completely and irreversibly content.

His breathing calmed in minutes. I was happy to just lay here and hold him. I twirled a piece of hair between my fingers, fascinated with just how soft it was.

"I'm starting to think your obsession with my hair is unhealthy, Alexander."

I chortled. "Like you're obsession with every part of me?"

He laughed, snuggling his face further into my chest. "Your love is my drug, baby."

I groaned. "Magnus, I love Kesha as much as the next gay man, but no one else is allowed in this bed."

He grinned, leaning up to kiss me. I kissed him back, and that's all we did for who knows how long. Kissing, touching, and loving. That's all we needed. What we lived for. Each other.

Magnus POV:

The cold November air stabbed at my lungs as I strolled down the street. I could barely see in the low fog, but I was unphased. I had treaded this path long enough to know every nook and cranny it held.

The grass crunched under my feet; evidence of the winter that was on the horizon. The only things living were the yellow roses and sunflowers that were perched in my clammy hands.

I travelled up the road a bit longer, trying to calm my breathing. There was nothing to fear. The pain hadn't all subsided, but my heart didn't lurch nearly as much as it had in the past weeks. I think it was finally beginning to scar over from all the blows it had took in its young life.

I came to my destination and took a deep breath. I knelt against the ground, the dewed grass getting the knees of my designer jeans stained, but it didn't bother me.

I unwrapped the roses and shoved the plastic protection into my pocket. I began to tear the petals from them, one by one, and spread them across their graves. Flower girls had scattered the same colored petals on the wedding church floor when they joined in marriage. It only seemed right to reunite them in this way. I left two roses whole, setting one by each tombstone.

I sat and rested my forehead against the cool stone, running my fingers over the engraved lettering_. Lora Marie Bane. Treasured Wife. Devoted Mother. Life Long Friend. December 02, 1970- May 17, 2002._

I took the sunflowers and placed them into the decorative holder inside my mother's headstone. "I remember", I whispered.

I shifted my gaze to the stone beside hers, tears pooling in my eyes. _Roger Levi Bane. Loving Husband. Doting Father. Life Long Guardian. September 28, 1968- April 08, 2011._

The tear that ran down my cheek was steaming against my frost bitten cheeks, but I welcomed the warmth. "Hey Dad, hi Momma. I'm sorry it's been so long since I came to visit."

The sun chose that moment to peek out behind the clouds, shining warm on my back and defrosting my bones. I smiled. "How'd you know I was so cold?"

"_I'm your mother, I know everything, Magnus."_

"_Or at least she likes to pretend she does."_

"_What was that, darling?"_

"_She knows everything, son."_

I could hear their voices washing over me. I was at peace.

"It's great to see you, Momma, Dad. A-A lot has happened since the three of us talked." I choked on the lump of emotion in my throat. I knew it wouldn't go away until I left this place. "I'm going to college at Idris, just like we had always talked about, Dad. Alec's there with me. We share a room, naturally. Most of the time, we share a bed, too. It helps me sleep._ He_ helps me sleep. That's where he is now, sleeping. I left him a note to meet me here. I didn't want him to wake up early on my account.

"He's the most amazing person, Mom. Besides you. He fights to keep me sane when I have no strength left. He's so…Mom, I've never felt like this. This intense love and fear of losing that love all at the same time. If anything tore me apart from Alec…I wouldn't live. I'd choose to die. I thought I couldn't live without you and Dad, but I know I can't without Alec. He's my world."

The tears flowed freely now. They were everything I held inside. The love I felt for Alec. The fear of getting ripped away from him. Mourning for my parents and Annie's mother, for our lives together cut so short. The unfairness of it all. I cried for everyone I loved and had ever loved. Nothing made sense without my mother and father, but at least I had Alec to try and help me solve it all.

A pair of strong arms wrapped around me some time later, cradling me into a warm chest. I sobbed into Alec's black pea coat, curling my fingers around his shirt. He was silent as he held me, stroking my hair and kissing the top of my head. I never knew I could find comfort in someone's arms after my mom had passed.

"Roger, sir. Lora, ma'am. This is Alec. I'm sorry I haven't visited much. There's no excuse for it, even when I was away at school. I just wanted to tell you that I am completely and utterly devoted to your son. I'd move heaven and earth for him. The heart in my chest is no longer mine. It's his."

I sniffled, looking into his stark blue eyes. He was gazing straight ahead into the headstones before us, his eyes trained on them. "I love Magnus. More than I've loved anyone, even my family. I'm not ashamed to admit it. It's a different kind of love." He took his gloved hands in mine, trying to warm up my fingers. "Baby, you're freezing."

I nodded; it was all I could muster. I didn't trust my voice. I didn't even notice the blanket he'd been carrying. He made quick work of wrapping it around the both of us, tucking me inside his arms. I soaked up the heat of his body.

"I have only his best interest at heart", he continued. "I admit the past few months have been the most nerve wracking of my life. Magnus barely ate or slept. Seeing the circles under his eyes darken a bit more every day sent blows to my heart and my psyche. I was so lost. I didn't know how to take care of him. We fought a lot, and we both grew distant."

The pain at the memory caused me try cry harder, murmuring "I'm sorry" like a mantra. Alec just smiled gently, kissing my forehead and shushing me. He wiped the tears away. "But I knew that I wouldn't give up. I couldn't give up. That I needed him more than the air I breathe. This love was my new life, a life that I never wanted to give up. So I sucked it up. Magnus needed me, too. I vowed to be the one to fix him. I would put him back together, no matter how long it took."

Alec hugged me closer. "And he's been great the past few days. I know the road to recovery will be long and slow, but I'm going to ride it with him, hand in hand, for the rest of my life."

His words engulfed me. I was surrounded with so much emotion, from both him and myself.

"So, with your permission, Roger and Lora….I'm going to marry your son."

My heart stopped short in my chest.

He shrugged. "Maybe not today or tomorrow, but some day when we're both ready. Because I'm not going to let him go through this alone, and I am bound and determined to be the one, and only one, to love him through it all. That is, if he agrees."

I laughed through the tears, turning around to take his face in my hands. "Oh, Alec, are you crazy?" I kissed him full on the mouth, the force knocking us both over. "Of course I agree! Of course I'll marry you! Of course I-I-" I kissed him again, his laughter vibrating against my lips. I was a sobbing mess, but as long as Alec didn't care, I didn't either.

He sat us both up, me curled up in his lap. He rested his chin on top of my head. "Magnus."

His voice, while serious, was laced with gentleness. "Yeah?"

Alec kissed my head before continuing. "Don't you love me?"

I was instantly afraid. Had he not heard me? "Of course I do!" The tears welded up again, but Alec silenced my fears with the look on his face.

"Then why do you always think I'm going to leave you?"

The pain behind his eyes unhinged me. I could only shrug, not trusting my voice. I watched his face, looking for any trace of anger, but there was none.

He took one of my hands and placed it over his chest. "Do you feel that?" I nodded at the pulse of his heart. "That's beating for you, Magnus. Faster and stronger than a hummingbirds wings. I'd never give this feeling up. I'm not going anywhere, no matter how ugly things may get at times. So you're in a bad mood or depressed. That's not going to run me off, baby. Never. You are stuck with me."

I smiled, closing my eyes and snuggling into his chest. "Like glue." He chuckled, leaning down to kiss my forehead. I knew that whenever I was in his arms, I didn't have any reason to be afraid.

We sat in silence in the company of my parents lingering spirits. We didn't say a word. Our eyes and gentle caresses were all the conversation we needed.

Alec groaned suddenly, shifting his and my weight as he fished something out of his pocket. "Sorry. My phone's on vibrate. It keeps going off no matter how hard I ignore it."

I giggled, waving it off. Alec answered the phone with a grumpy hello, and all at once his face turned sour. "Jace, calm down, talk slower. I can't understand you when you're talking so fast."

After a moment Alec's face turned sheet white. His eyes grew wide with alert, a storm brewing in those blue orbs of his. "What?" His voice was intensely pained.

I was alarmed, but I sat quietly, waiting as patiently as I could. "How long ago?" Alec glanced at me, motioning me to get off him quickly. To dispel my hurt, he took my hand and kissed each knuckle. He wasn't trying to get rid of me. We needed to go. Whatever this was must've been serious.

"I'm on my way now. You don't leave him for a second, you understand me? Stay on their asses."

Oh no.

Alec hung up, standing quickly and pulling me to my feet. "You can stay here if you like, but I have to go now."

"No, I won't leave you. Alec, what's wrong?"

He released the breath head been holding, a single tear sliding down his cheek. I wiped it away, keeping my hand against his face. "Baby, tell me."

"Max was in a bus crash. They've got him in an ambulance, and he's not responding."

**A/N- You should um… review. Like, pretty please?  
>~Ella and Bee, Bee and Ella, Awesome and Awesomer, etc. <strong>


	7. Not Him

**College is kicking my ass.**

**So I turned 20 last Sunday and I don't know how I feel about it yet. No longer a teenager, still not able to legally drink an Appletini. It's a floating year.**

**I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. I don't hate it, but I'm not totally in love with it either.**

**One of my darling reviewers requested there be some more Jace and Clary in the story and I thought "I can do that", so I hope I served them justice.**

**Speaking of reviews, the reviews for the last chapter were amaaaazing! They gave me a major ego boost, you guys. You're all the . I can't tell you how much your reviews light the fire in my creativity, so they are very much appreciated, just as all of you are.**

**A/N: If I owned The Mortal Instruments, I would stuff Magnus and Alec in my turkey. So be glad I don't. Happy Thanksgiving every one!**

Jace's POV

(Announcer Guy: EARLIER THAT DAY)

"Maaaax", I sang in a childish tune." It's time to waaake uuuuup."

I saw a lump squirm under the bed, and then go still. I smirked. So he wanted to play. I crept over silently, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Weell, maybe he's already up." I yawned loudly, stretching my arms for effect. "I sure am tired, though. Maybe I'll wait here for him". Very quickly, I laid down on top of him, making sure not to crush him under all my weight. A squeal of delight pierced the air, and I began my assault of tickling. Max erupted in giggles, fighting his way out of the covers and trying to roll away from my grasp.

"Jaaaaaace! Stop it!" His grin lit up the room, and my heart.

I might be a tough guy. Yeah, I like to start fights for no reason. I've already been in a few scruffs at school, and I have a shit ton of battle scars. But nothing warmed my heart like this kid; my brother. Not even Clary could touch this place in my heart. "Morning, squirt."

"Morning, beast."

I chuckled, tapping him on the nose. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Cinnamon oatmeal, but you have to make it. I only like the way you make it. Momma puts too much cinnamon in it."

"You've got it, Max. Now get dressed, squirt. We're gonna leave in forty-five minutes."

He saluted me, hopping out of bed and wondering over to his closet. I made my way to the kitchen, setting out the magic ingredients that would create the perfect breakfast treat.

Twenty minutes later breakfast was served and Max was nomming away. "This is so yummy! I thought the apple slices would be icky in it, but you are a genius! You should come home from school and make me all my meals, and I could go to the store with you when you need to go shopping and…and…yeah!"

I laughed, cleaning up our messes. I would leave them but something in me wouldn't let things stay dirty for long. Unless I was with Clary. Things got dirty pretty quick when I was with her.

Today was the day. After I saw Max off I was going to pick her up and take her to the new gala on 16th and then her favorite café. And there I would propose, or promise to propose, or whatever. As long as she said yes it didn't really matter what it was.

"Are you not going to eat, Jace?" Max asked around a mouthful of oatmeal.

"No, Clary and I are going to lunch in an hour or so."

He "oohed" and "ahhed", making kissing noises before he embarrassed himself and stared laughing. I snorted, clucking him under the chin.

In an attempt to escape my tickling rampage, he yelled, "Jace, time to go!" He excitedly jumped up and down as he tried to put his coat on. I smiled, helping him turn his sleeve right side in. He smiled his thanks, slipping his arm in without any problems. We went out the front door, he running to my car as I locked the house.

I slid into my baby on wheels, making sure Max was securely buckled before turning the engine.

"Jace, when you get old can I have your car?"

"What makes you think I'm going to get old?"

He giggled." Everyone gets old, silly! So can I can I can I?"

"Tell you what, when you get old enough to have a car, we'll see if you still want it. If you do, it's all yours."

He gasped; his eyes wide behind his too big glasses. He could be a miniature Harry Potter. All he needed was the scar and green contacts. "Really?"

"Would I lie to my favorite little brother?" I pulled up to the front of his school. A swarm of excited children welcomed us. I saw Max's friend Todd wave frantically to him, jumping up and down and smiling.

I parked, grabbing Max's back pack and handing it to him. "Be careful, have a blast, and I can't wait to hear all about it tonight when I see you."

He hugged me from his seat. "Alec and Magnus are still getting me tonight, right?"

"Yes sir. They'll be here right at seven thirty".

He nodded, hugged me again, told me I was awesome (duh) and ran off to Todd and the rest of his art club.

I stayed until the bus left a good ten minutes later, making sure he was on his way without any problems. When it was out of sight, I revved my engine and spun off, racing down these New York streets I knew like the back of my hand.

Clary had gone home earlier this morning to do whatever it is that girls do to get ready for an afternoon out of the house. Personally, she looked just as hot in a sloppy bun, sweats and one of my shirts as she did in anything else. I'd rather have her naked twenty-four seven, but beggars can't be choosers. Not that I'm begging. Those days are over.

I pulled into her driveway about forty-five minutes later and was greeted with a dazzling smile as she bounded down her porch steps. I got out to meet her, pulling her into my arms. "Good morning."

"Hi", she said, her entire face radiant with her smile. I leaned into kiss her, she meeting me as enthusiastically as I did her. I walked her around to her side of the car, opening her door.

"Are you sure you can't tell me where we're going?" she asked as she slid into her seat.

I leaned in, resting my left arm above the car door. "Oh, I can tell you. But I'm not going to." I flashed a smirk, earning an eye roll in response. Chuckling, I shut her door and ran around to my door.

"Whatever, it's not like I'm bubbling over with curiosity or anything. Which I kind of am."

I pulled out of the drive, heading south. "When have you ever not liked one of my surprises?" I thought for a moment before adding, "Except for that one time. The condom thing was totally Alec's fault."

She laughed, shuddering a bit at her recollection of the incident. "Way to ask your gay brother for sex advice."

"I, my dear, do not need advice on sex. I can pleasure you all by my lonesome."

"Mmmhmm, sure you can." The blush on her face told me everything I wanted to hear even if she didn't say it herself.

We sat in comfortable silence until we reached the part of downtown that was Clary's favorite, what with all the art stores and galleries around. I passed each of them, her face faltering a bit in disappointment. If only she knew what I had in store.

"Have you eaten today?"

She shook her head. "I figured when you said you had "amazingtacular plans" that they included food."

"You figured correct." I found my way into her favorite cafe's parking lot, leaning over and kissing her before I cut the engine. We walked in hand in hand, my thoughts running wild with me throughout the course of lunch.

What if she doesn't say yes?

_She'll say yes. You know she loves you._

But what if she isn't ready?

_That's why it's a PROMISE ring and not an ENGAGEMENT ring, you idiot._

But what if she doesn't like the ring?

_She'll like it because it's from you. And if worse comes to worst and she hates it but says yes anyway, you can always go and exchange it. _

But what if-

"Jace, are you okay? They brought the food like, five minutes ago and you've barely touched it."

I snapped out of my worried stupor, fingering the ring box in my pocket. "I'm fine."

"I don't think you are."

"Do I need to take of my shirt and remind you of my glorious abs?"

"Ha ha, very funny. Don't change the subject. If something's wrong, you can tell me. Don't you know that by now?"

I took her hand, kissing the skin above her knuckles. "I know that very well. And it's not that anything is particularly wrong right now…I'm thinking about things that could go wrong."

"Like….?" She inquired, waiting for me to finish. I wanted to wash away her worry. I used the hand that wasn't holding hers to finger the ring box. I took a deep breath. Today was the day, right? It was now or never.

"Clary, I-"

My cell phone went off, startling me, causing me to yank my hand of out Clary's. "Sorry, hold that thought." I dug it out of my other pocket, answering on the third ring. "This is Jace's phone, this is Jace, you know what to do."

"_Jace_."

My mother's voice stopped my blood cold. "Mom?"

"Jace, Max has-" her voice broke, shaking with sobs. I stood, leaving a fifty on the table, shot a glance at Clary, and bolted. I knew she would follow.

I could hear my father gently coercing the phone away from her. His rumbling voice filled my ear. "Jace, the bus Max was on crashed. It flipped several times, and caught fire. He's unconscious and unresponsive. He's in an ambulance and we're almost to the hospital."

"On my way. I'll call Alec." I hung up after getting the name of the hospital, speeding out of the parking lot and onto the highway. I hadn't even looked to see if Clary had buckled in.

"Jace, what's-"

"Max's bus crashed and he's not responding." I dialed Alec, maneuvering through traffic like fucking Speed Racer. "Damn it Alec, answer!"

"Here, let me try." Clary took the phone from me, calling Alec again.

I had dodged three near car crashed by the time Alec finally answered. I took the phone from Clary. "Alec, what the hell took you so long? I've been trying to get you for fifteen minutes!"

He told me to slow down. I gritted my teeth, grounding out my words. "Max was in a crash. He's unconscious and unresponsive."

Clary rubbed my shoulder, which I was grateful for. "Mom called about twenty minutes ago and told me."

He told me to stay on the doctor's hide until he got there. "And after, bro."

"I sent him the hospital name in a text" Clary interjected. I nodded and hung up as Alec did. Clary's hand came up to my face. It was cool to the touch and I welcomed it gladly. She ran her thumb under my eye. I hadn't realized I'd been crying.

Alec's POV

I raced down the highway, having no patience for dumbass drivers. I needed to get to my brother and fast. Last I knew, he was admitted to Morgan Stanley Children's Hospital and still not breathing on his own. His heart was beating- for now.

I swerved around a jerk in a red mustang convertible, growling through gritted teeth. He honked, and I flipped him off, speeding away.

I was vaguely aware that Magnus was rubbing my shoulder, trying to dispel some of my tension. It wasn't helping, but I couldn't afford to stop him, lest his feelings be hurt in his current mental state. I tried to calm my breathing. I shot him an appreciative smile, trying in vain to hold in my emotions for both our sakes.

"Alec-"

"Magnus, don't take this the wrong way, but I just can't right now. I need silence."

He nodded, leaning his head on my shoulder and hugging my torso. I rubbed his back at a red light, and then took off again like a speeding bullet, as did my heart.

Jace's POV

I stood, pacing the operating wing of the hospital. I couldn't sit in there with my mom looking miserable and Izzy crying. Clary was sitting with her, which I was grateful for. I couldn't let anyone see me this vulnerable. No one except maybe Alec.

Max was being treated now. Of course, we don't know what for because doctors are useless. I could just see them picking the pieces of glass out of his skin. His glasses had snapped in half. Even seeing the blood on his tiny face wasn't the worst part. It was how pale he was.

I slammed my fist into the wall, tears I had forbid to fall ignoring my decree completely. The skin on my knuckles split, inviting a much needed distraction.

"_Jace, where are we goooooing?" Max had asked for the hundredth time. I just laughed again, tousling his hair and grinning. He was so annoyed with my intensity to keep our destination a secret he pouted. But then he giggled and started bouncing in his seat. _

"_Let's just say I think you're going to love it."_

_He grinned ear to ear, and as I made a left turn our destination came into sight. A little piglet took over Max's body for about thirty seconds as we pulled into the Build A Bear Workshop. _

"_Woah, buddy, calm down! You're going to make a hole in the seat and fall through it into another dimension."_

"_Well, I know you'll come save me, so it'll be okay."_

_I grinned. "Every time, kiddo."_

Except this time.

On my fourth or fifth hit, the most rewarding presence overwhelmed me. A delicate voice in my ear whispered "Jace, no" and my anger deflated. Anguish filled its place, and I succumbed to my knees. "He's fucking ten years old. He didn't deserve this."

Clary wrapped me in her small arms; a fortress to protect my shattered spirit. "Oh, Jace. Max has so much of you in him. He's going to pull through. He may be soft spirited, but he'll win this fight." She cradled my head to her chest, just holding me.

We sat there for years it seemed like, people walking around us. This was a hospital- we weren't frowned upon. Good for the twats I would have kicked otherwise.

She stood, offering her hands. "We should get back to everyone else. I know they're worried about you."

"They need to forget me and worry about Max. He's the one who needs them." I took her hands, lifting myself to my feet. It wasn't a second later that I heard something hit the floor. My eyes widened.

She gave the little black box an inquisitive look, bending down to pick it up. A lump rose in my throat. Shit. Shit_. Shit_.

She turned it over in her fingers, her eyes alight with curiosity. "Jace, is this for Max?"

I swallowed. "No."

She glanced in my direction. "Izzy?"

I shook my head. "It-It wasn't supposed to happen this way. I was going to take you out today, to all your favorite places, and it was going to be perfect. And then Max got hurt…"

"Then…" she trailed off before opening the box herself. The look on her face was that of pure astonishment, bewilderment consuming her. Then she looked right into me.

I nodded again. "I love you."

That was all she needed. She jumped into my arms. I caught her tiny frame easily, kissing her without abandon. She laughed through her tears, and all I could do was smile. I forgot in that moment where I was, who I was supposed to be.

I set her down, taking the ring from her. "Was that a yes, then?"

"Duh!" she grinned, wiping her wet face with the sleeve of her right arm as I slid the ring onto her left ring finger. A perfect fit, like it was always meant to be there. Her slim frame fit into me so perfectly as she hugged me, my own towering over hers.

"Well, this day is becoming an emotional roller coaster. I feel awful that I took this time away from Max. He needs us right now. I swear, I was just coming in here to get you, and we may miss Alec and Magnus coming-"

"Clary, it's fine. There's nothing we can do until Max gets out or the damn doctors come out and tell us something. So what if it didn't happen at the opportune time?" I took her hand in mine, leading her out of the hallway and back to my family. Our family.

Alec's POV

I sat with Maryse and Robert, gripping my mother's hand tightly. We were all staring at nothing, waiting for news, concentrating on not falling apart. I had to be strong for my siblings. I was the oldest. It was my responsibility.

Izzy was in Magnus's lap, sniffling, but her sobbing had subsided when he took over caring for her. I would have to thank him later. Nothing else mattered now except my Max.

Jace and Clary sat across from us, holding hands, her ring glittering off the fluorescent lighting. Any other time, we'd all be out celebrating. And we will be as soon as Max is out of here.

Time passed slowly, or not at all. I couldn't tell. I watched the clock. We'd been here for two hours, the rest of my family even longer. Still no word.

I needed a cigarette. I didn't smoke, but God did I need a cigarette.

"Are you the family of Max Lightwood?" A stout, golden curled doctor came into our tense space, pulling us all out of our thoughts.

"It's about fucking time" Jace growled, Clary rubbing his arm. I felt the same way.

"Calm down ,son", my father's calm, authoritative voice rang. Had it been anyone else, Jace would have gone on a rant.

The doctor overlooked Jace, getting right to the point. "Mister and Misses Lightwood, your son has suffered substantial injuries, including a punctured lung. We did everything we could to save it, but the only option left was to remove his left lung."

A sob rose in my mother and Izzy's throats, but the rest of us remained dawned on me that Max probably wouldn't be able to play soccer.

"It will make things a little more difficult for him, especially if he's a sports player, but it is definitely possible. Only having one lung is going to cut the amount of strenuous activity he can do, and make it harder to breathe when he does get out of breath. His face and left arm have been severely burned, so don't be alarmed when you see him. But he's recovering beautifully. Your son is a fighter."

He's going to be fine. My brother was going to be okay. My brother made it. My brother is a fighter.

I saw Magnus reach his arm through my peripherals, his hand brushing against my cheek. His hand was cool to the touch. I hadn't noticed the tears that spilled over. He stole them away.

I barely heard the doctor describe Max's other injuries. A broken leg, numerous cuts (something about the tip of his ear?), a few bruised and broken ribs. All I could think about was how amazing it was that Max was alive.

Then, if thinking selfishly, Magnus is a beautiful person, and I'm not. My brother lived. His parents died. He was alone. I was surrounded by love and family. Why did he deserve this pain that I had just recently felt? Is that what he lived with every day? Oh my _God_.

I sat up abruptly and strutted out of the hallway, my traitorous tears falling down. I rounded the corner and slid against the wall into a fetal position, hyperventilating. It didn't take long for him to find me.

"Alec, hey, hey, it's okay. Max is going to be okay. You're going to be okay. Shhh", he cooed to me. His hands were everywhere, petting my hair, stroking my tear stained face. I clung to Magnus and sobbed for him.

"If all that time thinking he was going to die has been what you've felt all this time…I'm so sorry." I barely whispered. "I've been so blind to what you've been going through all these months. I'm so sorry."

He sat beside me, pulling me into his lap and holding me. I buried my face in his shoulder and cried. I cried for Max. I cried for Annie and her father at the loss of her mother. I cried for Magnus. I cried.

"Alec, sweetheart, you have nothing to be sorry for. You've been so strong for me, and now it's my turn to be strong for you."

"Bu-But Max is alive. Your p-parents…"

"Are what? Dead? My mom was in so much pain the last few months of her life, and now she'll know no pain ever again. My dad was at a loss in life without her. Sure, he had me, and he loved me more than life, but I couldn't replace her. Now he's with her in eternity. Yes, they're gone, and I miss them every day, and it hurts every day. But I have new strength in you."

I still didn't understand. I sniffled and shook my head.

"It was their time, Alexander. Max has all of his life yet to live. Don't you dare feel guilty about him living and my parents dying." He took my face in his hands, holding me together. "Promise me."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can. Max needs us, he may need you more than anyone. How is he going to feel when you look upon him with guilt ridden eyes? You can't do this to him, Alec. More importantly, you can't do this to yourself."

I nodded. "I'm sorry."

He kissed me, silencing the sobs and slowing the tears. I fisted his shirt in my hands, afraid if I let go I would continue to shatter.

I rested my forehead against his chest, not willing to move just yet.

He rubbed my back. "Draw strength from me, my love. I'm here."

"Alec?"

I heard Isabelle's voice, but I couldn't acknowledge her. I was too broken. "Alec, Max is awake. His meds are going to kick in again soon, and he wants to see you before he goes back to sleep."

Magnus stood, holding out his hands. I didn't take them right away. "Mom and Dad should see him, then."

Isabelle shook her head. "He told the nurse you're the first one he wants to see."

I gave a shaky hand to Magnus, letting him pull me up. I roughly wiped the tears away. I had to do this for Max. He needed me. I looked to Magnus.

"You're alright", he promised firmly. I nodded, following my sister to my brother's room. I took a deep breath, opened the door, and shut it softly behind me.

"Alec?"

My heart ripped into pieces upon hearing my brother's hoarse voice. His body looked even smaller under all those IV's and casts. His glasses were off, the burned half of his face carefully bandaged. I managed to sit in the chair beside his bed. "Hey buddy."

He tried to smile, but I could tell even that hurt. "You don't have to pretend, Max. I know it hurts."

He sighed his thanks. He offered his small, fragile hand, and I took it. We squeezed with all the strength we had. It was enough.

"Is Mommy okay?"

I nodded. "She's worried about her baby. She's happy you're okay. We all are."

"I'm sorry I scared you all."

"Oh, Maxie, it's not your fault! Not at all." I wanted so badly to crush him to me, protecting him from al the hurt of the world. I wish I could take the pain from him.

"Hey, Alec?"

"Yeah?"

"When my face heals, am I gonna get to wear a neato mask like that opera phantom guy?"

I laughed out loud, mostly in relief. Max was his same old self. "Only if you want to. I'm sure Magnus could make a killer mask for you."

"Awsome." He yawned, the tight hold on my hand softening somewhat.

"You can go to sleep, Max. We'll all be right outside."

"Will you stay until I do?"

"Of course."

"Will you tell everyone I love them?"

"You have my word, good sir."

"I love you, Alec."

I rubbed the back of his hand, a lone tear cascading down my cheek. "I love you too, Max. So much. You're going to be okay."

"I know." He smiled weakly. "You know how I know?"

"How?"

"Cuz I'm a badass like my big brothers. Jace is gonna be jealous of my battle scars. "

We laughed, holding each other's hands and rattling off about Spiderman and Batman and who would win in a fight until he fell asleep about ten minutes later. I kissed his forehead, quietly leaving him to rest.

I found my way back to the waiting room, where I found only Magnus. "Where'd everyone go?"

He patted his lap, which I happily sat on. His arms wrapped around me. "They're all off dealing with this in their own way. Your parents insisted on paying for Jace and Clary to go get a celebratory dinner for their engagement or promise or whatever the hell it is. They're going to go to that new Japanese takeout and bring all of us something back here. Izzy went with them. I think your parents are out strolling the court grounds."

I nodded, drained. Manus shifted me in his arms, cradling me to his chest. "Get some sleep, baby blue."

"Max said he loves you", I said nearly incoherent. "But I love you more."

He chuckled. "As I love you both. One as a brother, and the other as a best friend and love of my life."

I kissed him with all the energy I had left. Our hands clasped together over his chest. I fell asleep this way, feeling whole and safe in the sanctuary I found in Magnus and our devotion to one another.

**A/N- Ah, Bee is so great. I love her so much, she's like the crazy best friend I never got. BEE I LOVE YOU. Just lettin' ya know :D If you love Bee (and possibly me) review. If you hate both of us… why are you here?  
>-Ella &amp; Bee, Bee &amp; Ella, those crazy author girls. <strong>


	8. Welcome Home

**Fake A/N: THEY ARE NOT RENEWING "NEW GIRL" AND MY SOUL IS BROKEN.**

**THIS. THIS IS HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT.**

**. . .**

***SOB***

**REAL A/N: My lovely reviewers, all of you are so amazing! I, along with the fantastic Ella, truly appreciate the time you take to both read and respond to our story. Keep it coming- we love the feedback.**

**So I had some help with this chapter from the wonderful chiyo33 ! You should all thank her. DO IT.**

**I try to answer all of your reviews, so if I have left any of you out PLEASE let me know. I enjoy talking with all of you and picking your brains.**

**I hope all of you had a truly wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year, however you celebrate it.**

**I've been a bit emotionally under the weather. My best friend-well, soulmate, died around this time last year and I've been having dreams of this person non- stop lately and it's really messing with me. It was nine years pure bliss.**

**So that's why this is so prolonged. I do apologize.**

**ONTO HAPPIER AND SEXIER TIMES!**

**Disclaimer- If I owned TMI, Magnus and Alec would be buck naked, under my tree, in body stockings. And I would only share with Ella. So be glad neither she nor I own them.**

Magnus POV:

"And so Spider Max swooped in-

"And saved all the kids from the evil Green Goblin-"

"And took them all out for waffles!"

"With peanut butter on them!"

"Wait, peanut butter on the kids or the waffles?"

"Eeeeew! Magnus, on the waffles!"

"Oh, okay, got it."

Max and I sat in his room, laughing at our made up adventures of Spider Max, created one line at a time. Alec had fallen asleep about an hour earlier, exhaustion defeating him. Now that we Max home and he was all set up in a familiar place, I think Alec felt like he could relax some.

"Magnus?" a tired little voice issued. I glanced down at my little friend, the pillows stacked beneath him nearly swallowing him. He'd been confined to either sitting up propped by pillows or lying on his back. His damaged body wouldn't allow him to do much else, nor would Alec or Maryse. They'd thrown a fit about moving him from the couch to his bed earlier this morning, but Robert expertly convinced them both that Max's happiness would lead him to recovery quicker.

"Mmyeees?"

"I'm scared."

His statement took me by surprise. I brushed his bangs out of his eyes, much like I do to his older clone at night before we say our goodnights. "What of?"

"Going to sleep." He took a moment to wet his lips before he spoke again. "When I sleep, it's like I'm in the wreck all over again. It's so scary. I don't want to hurt so bad again, even if it isn't real."

I nodded, completely understanding. Had I not recently gone through this myself? The trauma of reliving your worst nightmares is unlike anything else. "It's like you're trapped, isn't it?"

"Yeah" he said, wincing in pain as he tried to sit up. I moved in to help him, but he waved me off. "I'm on that bus, just laughing with my friends and taking in everything around us, like we were on an adventure. Then all of a sudden there was a loud, ripping sound. Then we were flying and spinning in the air and everything moved in slow motion. You know, like when astronauts are in those antigravity chambers."

He shivered. I wrapped my arm around his shoulders and drew him to my side. His head rested against my shoulder as he continued. "I landed hard on my side. It was so hard to breathe, because of the smoke, I think. My shoulder was hurting because of some broken glass I landed on, but it was nothing compared to my chest. My head was pounding, and I couldn't see. I tried to cough, thinking it would help, but it just burned. I tried to move and I couldn't. I tried to scream, but my voice wouldn't work. I was stuck. It felt like forever I was stuck in the darkness."

"I know what it feels like to be stuck in the darkness. Mine was more of a black hole, though."

"When your parents died?"

I nodded. "It wasn't as dark when my mom passed. The hole was always there, but when I lost my Dad, it was so much worse. There wasn't anybody to pull me out. I was falling deeper and deeper."

Max rubbed his tired eyes. "What did you do? To not be scared to go to sleep?"

"I finally realized that when I woke up, I had something to come back to. I had my friends, you and your family, and this totally hot guy who 's pretty good at playing the hunky hero."

Max giggled. "I bet that would make Alec blush."

"Oh? Even though I know it's totally true, why do you think that?"

"Because", Max laughed, "he's standing in the doorway with a big pink splotch on his face."

"I am not." Sure enough, Alec was standing there with a glass of water, in all his blushing glory. Dark circles marred the skin under his eyes and his hair was more disheveled than usual. "And you, Sir Maximillian Alexander Lightwood, are up past bedtime." He crossed over to sit in front of his brother, readying a thermometer and several pills. "How do you feel?" he asked upon placing the thermometer in Max's mouth.

"I'm achy, and it still hurts if I take a too deep breath, but I'm not gonna die or nothin'."

"Thank goodness for that", Alec and I said at the same time. He blushed again and I could only smile. He mustn't have been too concerned with Max's temperature, as he didn't bother to mention it. He handed Max the glass and his medicine. "Do you need me to sleep in here tonight? To help with the dreams?"

Max deliberated for a minute after taking his pills and shook his head. "Nah. Magnus and I had a good talk. I think I'll be okay. Before you go to bed, will you send momma up?"

"Will do, bud." Alec kissed his forehead and leaned over to his left, making sure the nightlight was turned on. "Are you sure you're alright by yourself? I can stay."

Max sighed dramatically, then pushed at Alec's side. "Yes Alec, you can go! And Magnus too. Now move your big butts and go to bed!"

I gasped loudly, then stood, looking at my ass and twirling in circles. "I happen to have an exceptional bum, thank you very much!"

Max erupted with giggles, rubbing his chest and wincing, but otherwise content. "Gay guys are so weird! Why does it matter what your butt looks like?"

I titled my head in thought. "Hmmm, well, now that I've snagged your brother here, I guess it doesn't. I am now allowed to eat my weight in ice cream and not feel guilty about it! Thanks Max!"

"Yeah, thanks a lot, Max. I'm particularly fond of my man's a-butt."

Max laughed. "You don't have to talk to me like I'm five. Jace cusses around me all the time."

Alec's nostrils flared, but he didn't give his anger away otherwise. "You're ten. You're not supposed to hear that kind of language, or use it. Promise me you won't until you're at least a teenager."

Max gave Alec a look that I couldn't help but laugh at. "Alec. I might be ten, but my vocabulary is at a twelfth grade level when I want it to be. I think I can find other synonyms to substitute for Jace's expletives."

"Good point", Alec amended.

Max smirked. "Goodnight Magnus, goodnight Alec."

"Sweet dreams, Max. Remember what I said. It'll help." I hugged him goodnight, pulling the blankets closer to him and fluffing his pillows. I stood, waiting for Alec.

"I'll be there in a minute. I'm gonna wait until Mom comes up."

"Don't take too long, or Max and I will have to kick your big butt, right Max?"

"Right!" he giggled.

Alec rolled his eyes, but mouthed a quick 'I love you' in my direction. I grinned and departed.

I didn't bother to close the door all the way, knowing Alec would be in soon. I decided to make myself useful and gather Alec's pajamas so he could go to bed sooner. I set them on the foot of his bed before undressing myself. I languidly pulled off my clothes, sighing in relief as I peeled off my skinny jeans. It was a love hate relationship.

I stood stark naked in the room and a low whistle echoed off the walls as I pulled up my silk pajama pants. I startled, turning quickly to see Alec's blue eyes trained on me, raking my body up and down. He sauntered in, closing the door behind him and making sure it was locked.

I swallowed. I knew how badly I wanted him. On the other hand, I knew how sleep deprived he was. Max had been in the hospital since Saturday. When Clary, Izzy, Jace and I had stayed in a hotel a few blocks away, Alec insisted to stay in the god awful chair in Max's hospital room. Today was Tuesday, and I knew he had refused sleep to be with Max whenever he woke from his frequent medicine induced dozes. "Did you get Maryse for Max?"

"She's with him now." He grabbed my hips, melting all my resolve.

I placed my hands on his hands, gently pushing them away. "Alec, you haven't slept in days. That nap earlier doesn't count."

He buried his face in my neck, nibbling lightly on my tanned skin. "But I don't wanna sleep right now."

Oh, the ungodly happenings going on in my pants. He slid his hands down the backs of my thighs and hitched my knees around his waist. My legs acted of Alec's accord, my hands on his shoulders as he continued his ruthless assault. "Then what does baby want to do?" I whispered.

My back hit the wall, sending a wave of pleasure-pain down my spine. Even in the darkness of the room I could see Alec's eyes alight with lust. I was caught in the blue blaze. He had scooted my pants down to my thighs before I knew what was happening.

"Baby wants to fuck."

He bit the tip of my ear, causing a chill to ripple through my body. I moaned low in my throat and before I could object, his lips were on mine. His hands kneaded my ass as he carried me to the bed, never separating his lips from mine.

With every nerve in my body protesting "No", I pushed away from him. "No. Alec, you're exhausted."

"You don't have the will power to resist me, Magnus." He gently pushed me on my back, saddling my lap and grinding into me in circles. It took everything in me not to buck my hips into him.

"Alec", I groaned, "not tonight. Max just got home and I know you're nervous about him."

He put his fingertips to my lips. His eyes closed, and he released a breath I didn't realize he was holding. "Magnus, I've been with Max every night since his accident and now he doesn't want me in there. I need a distraction so I won't worry about him. And you", he said huskily, "are the perfect distraction."

I kissed the pads of his fingers. He closed his eyes, sighing in contentment. I slid my hands up his torso, clasping them behind his neck. "Who am I to deny you what you want?"

He smiled, leaning in to kiss me. I met him eagerly, but he pouted when I pulled away just as quickly. "And what you want is sleep."

"Magnus-"

"Okay, maybe not want, but need."

His eyes found mine, boring into my soul in confusion and hurt. "Do you really not want me?"

I slid out from under him, lying on my side and gathering him in my arms. "Of course I do. But I'd rather have you healthy and rested." I brushed the hair out of his eyes. "You know I'm only thinking of you when I say 'no'."

"I'd rather you be thinking of me while saying 'yes' repeatedly."

I chuckled. "Me too. Alec, you know I love being intimate with you more than anything in the world, but you've been in a high stress situation the past few days. This is the first night you've slept in a real bed since Friday night. You even have circles under those baby blues." I ran my thumb under his eyes, feeling his lashes brush my skin when he closed them.

"I know you're right. I just…miss you."

Not able to resist myself, I pulled his face closer to mine. Time was immeasurable as we kissed, just as it always was. "I'm not going anywhere, love. Let's rest tonight, and I promise if you still want to get all up on my magnificent self tomorrow, then we will."

He laughed, getting up and grabbing his pajamas. "You know I will."

"Looking forward to it." I watched him as he undressed. He luckily left his boxers on or I would have lost it. He opened our door and turned off the light. "In case Max needs me, or has a nightmare, or…"

I opened my arms for him. "You don't need to explain to me."

He lingered at the door for a minute or two, then sighed, and joined me in bed, tangling his legs in mine. I wrapped my arms around him, kissing his hair.

"Magnus?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you."

"What for? Declining sex?"

"Mmm, no. Still sad about that." He rolled over on top of me with a playful grin. I wrapped my arms around his waist, waiting patiently for him to continue. "I heard you talking to Max earlier. About being afraid to sleep and reliving the pain and all that."

"Oh." Thank goodness for the dark of the room or he would have seen me blush, and I couldn't have that.

"I'm serious. You reached him in a way the rest of us couldn't. I'm so grateful."

I rubbed his bare back, massaging stress away as I went. "I love him too. With all my heart."

I felt him smile against my skin, his breathing leveling out as he relaxed into me. "He loves you too. We all do, Magnus. You're the bright, glittery gay rainbow in all of our skies. And in my heart, as well."

I laughed. My poor baby was so tired. "No need to win me over, darling. You've already done that."

"Mkay."

"Alexander?"

"Hmm?"

"Go to sleep."

"I don't wanna go to sleep."

I chuckled quietly to myself, holding this amazing boy close to my heart. "Then what does baby want to do?"

"Baby wants to lie here, cuddled up with his Magnus."

I kissed his very tousled hair. "I've got you, sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere."

"But what if you have to get up to pee?"

"I'll carry you into the bathroom with me?"

I thought he might have fallen asleep, but a short while later he replied, "Okay, but don't pee on me. I'm not into that kind of stuff."

"Dually noted." It took everything in me not to shake both us and the bed with laughter. I felt him nod against me. I was content, stroking his hair gingerly, soaking him in. It's been so long since I'd done this; lie in bed with Alec and just love him. No demons plagued my thoughts. Too long I had been distracted by terror. I covered it up as best I could when I was in these situations with Alec, and it was relieving to know I was past that. I could finally give him my every thought, my undivided attention.

"I love you, Magnus."

Alec spoke so softly I barely heard it. We had said "I love you" what must have been a thousand times, but I cherished it still. "I love you too, Alec. Always and forever."

"Forever is a long time."

"I'll still love you after."

"Even if I have a big ass like Max said?"

I grinned. "Hey, your ass is the finest ass I've ever known."

"Awesome." I could feel the heat radiating from his face. Even when near sleep, I could still make him blush. That takes some serious skill.

Alec laced his fingers through mine and rested them against my chest. Sleep finally claimed him a few moments later, his chest rising and falling with light snores. I watched his eyes dance underneath his lids in what little light the moon gave.

"Sweet dreams, Alexander."

POV- BUT WHO'S?

I watched those two from the door, my eyes focused on them. They'd been asleep for a long while, with no idea I had been watching them. I wasn't sure myself, but it could have been forever.

It was sickening, really. Whenever one of them moved, so did the other, always intertwined. It nearly made me vomit.

The blue eyed monster rolled on top of the sparkly freak, making the latter smile. I scowled. I used to be the one sleeping with him, so comfortably, the only one in the world who caught his attention.

And then one day, he just dropped me like, like….a ball of yarn! And he left me for the blue eyed monster that made him purr. Pisses me off.

I shook my head, a displeased noise rising out of my throat. I strutted down the hallway. He was _mine_. Mine! I shouldn't still love him, I should hate him! But…I don't want to.

"Chairman?"

I jumped, startled. I scampered away, hiding in the first corner I could find. I had been caught, like a filthy mouse. I would be in so much trouble.

"Chairman Meow?" A shadow appeared behind me and I feared the worst. "I'm sorry, did I scare you?" A hand soft and small stroked my back, relaxing me instantly. I turned around, staring up into the happy boy's eyes. "I wondered where you were. I haven't seen you since Alec and Magnus got home."

I yeowled at the last name. I was mad at the sparkly one.

"Ah. I see." The happy boy sat beside me, coughing as he got down. I looked at him. I think there was something wrong with him. I got up and crawled into his lap, hoping I could maybe fix whatever was wrong. I_ am_ the most adorable kitty in the universe.

"You think Magnus left you."

I didn't say anything. He was right, but this was a matter of my pride.

"Magnus loves you and misses you. Every time I call him or Alec, he asks about you. He calls you his precious spoiled kitty."

Damn straight, kid.

"He was sad when he left you here, you know. He cried."

I blinked. No way.

"He left you here because he thought I could take of you. Am I doing a bad job, Meow?"

He didn't look like he was trying to guilt me into anything, or like he was sad. It was a genuine question.

Happy Boy did save me from the white container full of water that the scary lady put me in. And he climbed the tall tree to get me down when I got stuck. And he bought me ten balls of yarn to play with, and a cat castle, because he realizes I am the king and he is my loyal subject.

I put my front paws on his chest and started licking his face and purring. You are taking awesome care of me!

He made the noise humans made when they were happy, and he smiled. He scratched me behind the ears, and I melted. He cradled me in his arms and stood coughed more, so I cuddled up against him as he walked. We went into his room and he placed me gently on one of his fluffy thrones for your head. "If you don't wanna stay in my room, it's okay. You can go explore." He got into his big ocean of blankets and kissed me between the ears. "Good night, Chairman Meow."

I looked out the door, then back at my new human. I curled up against him, pawing at his face. He smiled and scratched behind my ears. He yawned, and I did too, and I licked his chin in a sneak attack. He made his happy noise. "Chairman, you silly kitty!"

Maybe I was a silly kitty. But I was damn good at making this Happy Boy even more happy. Yep. I'm awesome.

Alec's POV:

I awoke to the sound of my brother. I thought he was crying. I would have shot right out of bed, but Magnus had me trapped in his arms. Normally, I would have smiled and cuddled into him even more, but I was anxious to get away from him.

"Alec, listen."

He voice from beside me was hoarse with sleep. I was about to retort, but then I heard Max again. "Chairman, you silly kitty!"

I smiled and lay back down. "Gotta love that cat."

Magnus grinned, kissing my cheek. "Yep."

**A/N: I realized I had neglected Monsieur Meow, and I felt bad about it.**

**ELLA'S A/N- Uhm, is anyone else dying from laughter right now? I am! Dudaman, Bee, you are so math! God, I'm using Adventure Time lingo… Anyways, who wants to review for our lovely Ms. Bee who I really need to PM right now…? Just review, purty pretty pwease?  
>~Ella who loves her Bee and Bee who (hopefully) loves her Ella :D<strong>


	9. I Love You This Much

**My lovely duckies, all I can say is that I will update when I can. I never want it to be a monthly thing again, but I've had several health problems this month and the regional premiere of Xanadu on top of that. I am a busy Bee. That doesn't mean that I don't love each one of you dearly, it just means that I don't have the time I'd like to dedicate to this story.**

**I'm not discontinuing it, updates may just be slow. Slug slow. But they will come, I promise.**

**Thank you for understanding and being so patient.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned TMI, Cassie and I would be getting wasted all the time and there would be a lot more of Malec that she wrote while drunk (she's Cassie, she'd be brilliant drunk or sober) IN THE BOOKS.**

**So be glad I don't. Even though we would all love that.**

**Magnus' POV:**

Dust particles danced in the glow of moonlight streaming through the bedroom window. The light on my face stirred me, but I didn't mind. I glanced at the clock. 4:10 am. Alec was finally sleeping soundly beside me.

Max had slept through the night so far, allowing Alec his first nights rest since the accident. He startled once around eleven, but it had merely been a cry of laughter produced from my tiny friend, caused by another tiny friend, except he was covered in fur and looked like humidity ridded kinky snowball. I have no idea how that worked, but hey, Mother Nature pulls things out of her ass all the time.

Alec's chest rose with every even breath he took. I couldn't help be stare at him. He looked so innocent when he slept. Not that he wasn't innocent. The boy blushed every time a variation of the word "penis" is used. Oh, and don't say "pussy" around him. He makes this choking noise and goes into an embarrassment induced coma for a few minutes.

I ran my fingertips along his bare arms. Goosebumps rose along the trail I left, but that was the only sign he had even noticed. His baby blues were still hidden from me under a sweeping mass of black lashes.

I couldn't resist. I traced his eyelids, his jawline, his nose, his lips. My forefinger lightly ran along his chin, to his lovely neck, and to the dip in his collar bone. I glanced up to catch him watching me. I pulled my hand away, but he quickly caught it in his. He sat up, pulling me into his lap. He kissed each of my fingertips before he placed my hand on his chest.

"Don't stop."

His voice had barely been above a whisper, but it spoke volumes. I continued my path, drawing circles on his chest, his chin resting lightly on my shoulder.

"How long have you been watching me?"

I grinned lazily at him. "Since I woke up."

He rolled his eyes. "Okay, how long have you been awake?"

"Probably fifteen minutes or so."

"Mmm. Well, in that case", glancing at the clock, he cupped the side of my face, drawing it towards him and kissed me slow and sweet. "Good early morning."

I grinned. "It is when I wake up next to you."

"I bet they'd adore you in Canada."

I blinked in confusion. "Why is that?"

"Because you're such a sap!"

I proceeded to tickle the hell out of him. He roared with laughter, panting after only a few seconds of the sweet torture. He's managed to slip all the way down the bed with me on top of him. "I take it back! I take it back!"

I stopped only to lace my fingers with his. I rested our hands above his head, pinning him somewhat. Before I could even think to make another move, he leaned up and captured my lips with his. I let my eyes slip closed as he drew my bottom lip into his mouth. I caught both of his wrists in my left hand, using my right to travel down the length of his body. I ran a nail lightly over a faded hickey. I'd have to fix that.

As he broke away for air I kissed along his jawline, down to my target on the elegant curve of his neck. I could feel his pulse beneath my lips. Fast and steady. I sank my teeth into the pale flesh, Alec's body writhing beneath me as I did so. Surprisingly he didn't moan, but I knew he'd liked it; his body arched off the bed and into me. He must've been determined to be quiet.

I lapped at the few droplets of blood that came with my bite. Alec let out a ragged sigh, his nails digging into his palms. I took pity on him and let him have his left hand, which his immediately fisted into my hair.

"If you stop for even a second, or pull that cock blocking stunt you did last night, I will hurt you. And I will not be sad about it."

My hand immediately slipped into the front of his boxers. He shivered as I fisted him.

"Good boy."

I chuckled, pumping him slowly while my lips kept his busy. He kept his moans low in the back of his throat as our tongues met. How many times had we done this now? A hundred? A thousand? Every time was different and invigorating. It truly amazed me.

Before I even knew it happened, Alec had me on my back, never breaking our kiss. His hand worked off my pants, leaving me totally exposed to the elements and to him. I didn't feel vulnerable, but he pulled the blankets up to our waists anyway.

He left a blazing trail of hickeys down my chest, his pleasure and pent up frustration from my getting him off fueling every nip and suck he gave me. It was heaven. My own personalized, torturous heaven.

I knew we'd need it sooner or later, and seeing as Alec was occupied at the moment, I used my free hand to rummage around in the handy dandy bed side table drawer. I closed my fingers around the familiar shape of the bottle. As I closed the drawer my breath hitched in my throat.

"I thought that may get your attention."

The hand around Alec went limp as he put his mouth back on me. He raked his teeth along my entire length, and I was reduced to a whimpering mess. He nipped the inside of my thigh before he took me completely in his beautifully talented mouth. I bit my lip to keep the inhuman noises inside me. I could feel Alec grin against me. This was payback for all the times I tried to keep him quiet.

I tasted the blood when Alec expertly pushed a finger inside of me. I hadn't even noticed him lube up I was so enthralled in the sensations my body was going through. I eagerly welcomed the pleasure pain. Alec heightened my pleasure even more by swallowing in rapid succession. GaGa love this man.

He pulled out all too soon, getting a whimper from me. He smiled deviously, quickly coating himself. He curled his hands around the backs of my knees, scooting me into position. His lips met mine as I gripped his shoulders, ready to be fucked into oblivion.

Alec didn't disappoint. He slid into me with slow determination, stretching me beyond belief. I winced slightly at the pain, but put that pain to good use by biting down onto Alec's shoulder. I felt him shudder with a moan as he filled me to the brim, as deep as was humanly possible.

"Are you okay? I'm not sure of the chunk you took out of my shoulder was a good thing or a bad thing. I liked it, though." His voice was low and smooth, filled with lustful desire. The smirk on his face was maddening.

He chuckled when he found a rare blush on my tanned face. I melded my lips to his to shut him up. He pulled out of me completely and wasted no time slamming back in. My cry of ecstasy filled his mouth. My nails were digging into the dark navy sheets. Alec kissed his way down my throat and decided that the agonizingly slow pace he set wasn't torturous enough. He teased a nipple with his teeth, biting down gently and flicking his tongue back and forth over the sensitive peek.

This was some damn good sex.

"Alec." I said his name over and over as he continued to do ravishingly delicious things to me, body, mind, and soul.

In one fluid motion Alec slung my right leg over his shoulder, creating a new angle for the both of his. He dove into me, and if he wasn't seeing the stars I was, something was seriously wrong with him. "Fuck!"

"That's what I'm aiming for," he panted between thrusts. He wasn't usually this vocally coherent during sex, or this outgoing. I rather liked it.

"Do that again," I begged. He complied willingly, moaning at the pleasure I could see rippling through his body. My eyes rolled back into my head. It wasn't until his clamped his hand over mine that I was aware I was screaming.

He planted several lingering kisses at the juncture of my neck and shoulder, calming me as I writhed underneath him. Hid thrusts became more rapid and out of sync, warning me he was reaching his limit. My body was so tired, but all I wanted was more.

He wrapped a hand around me, using the several drops of pre cum as natural lubricant as he pumped me into oblivion. My moans were sporadic and numerous as I came closer to the edge.

Alec came with such a force inside me that it set off my own release. He didn't let up until I had completely ridden out my high, my head hitting the pillow a sure sign of my crashing down to earth.

"Wow," he breathed heavily, resting his head against my chest as soon as he had pulled out. I wrapped my arms gingerly around him. "Definitely worth the wait."

"I'll say."

He leaned up and kissed me. "So, now what? It's only five."

I must have fallen asleep because the last thing I remembered was a gentle pressure against my lips, and a "goodnight, sweetheart" whispered in my ear.

**Alec's POV:**

My body was light even in sleep. I can't remember a time sex had been that amazing. I could hear myself sigh happily.

I felt a warm pressure against my cheek. Was Magnus kissing me? That's what I had thought in my groggy state of mind, so I just smiled. A moment later though, I'd come to a different conclusion. Magnus's lips weren't rough-was he licking me? I laughed, rolling over to face him. "What are you-"

"Meow."

Chairman Meow was curled up next to me. So he had been the one to wake me. I reached over to scratch him behind the ears. "Well, good morning to you too, Chairman." I sat up and he pounced into my lap, purring as I continued to pet him. I looked at the clock. 8:00 am. I rolled my neck in small circles, trying to stretch a little without disturbing the Chairman. I wonder where Magnus had run off to.

It just occurred to me that his side of the bed was made up, and a folded piece of notebook paper was resting on his pillow. I picked up the piece of paper and unfolded it with one hand as I pet my furry friend with the other.

_Hope you're dreaming of me. I love you. – Magnus_

Smiling, I leaned over the side of the bed, grabbing a shirt off the floor. I sat my brother's cat, or Magnus' cat, gently on the bed, slipping out from under the covers to get dressed. "Should we go check on Max?"

Chairman looked at me, and then proceeded to groom himself. I glanced at my hair in the body mirror Magnus had insisted on getting us when he first moved in all those months ago. I thought of attempting to do something with it, but that was Magnus' area of expertise. I knew he loved playing with it. Maybe I'd let him put it in a faux hawk or something.

I sauntered down the hall, stretching my arms above my head as I went. Today was Thanksgiving. And I was going to gain a very unhealthy, unsexy twenty pounds from all the food I was going to eat.

"Max? Mom? Magnus?" It was unusually quiet in the house. "Where is everybody?" I wondered aloud to myself.

_**Bam!**_

Before I knew what was happening, my face was stinging from carpet burn. A chortled laugh filled the air around me, and I reached out with a kick to trip my offender.

I rolled on top of Jace, pinning him to the floor with my knee in his shoulder blade. He grunted in protest. Jace launched off the ground, sending me airborne a few feet. My back hit the wall, causing the pictures above my head to rattle. I winced slightly. I was fairly sure there was already a bruise there from the wild night I'd had with Magnus.

Jace loomed over me, a smug smirk on his lips. "And as always, I am the victor."

"Oh don't start that," I retorted, grabbing his hand as he helped me off the floor.

He blanched. "If you're talking about that one time in Boca, that doesn't count."

"The hell is does. Alec totally saved your ass." Izzy sauntered down the stairs past us, all dressed up.

"In my defense, she was totally hot!"

"Jace, her name was Marble Gargle. How could you have not known based off just her name that she was really a-"

"Isabelle!" He interjected quickly. "My dear, sweet sister Isabelle, what are you up to on this fine day?"

She looked at me, rolling her eyes and reaching in her purse. "If you must know, Mother has banned me from the kitchen this year and told me not to come anywhere near it, so Simon and I are going out."

"At eight in the morning?"

She nodded, retrieving her car keys. "We'll be back around four."

"Where's he taking you?"

"Why are you going to be gone so long?"

"Ugh, stop with the big brother act, you two. I don't know where we're going. He said it would be a surprise."

"He'd better not propose and steal my thunder."

We both glanced at Jace. "_Your_ thunder?"

He blushed, embarrassed to admit that he was just as excited about his future wedding with Clary as she was. "I- I mean Clary's."

"Uh huh, sure," I muttered under my breath.

The front door opened before we could tease Jace any farther. My father walked through the door, last minute grocery bags in one arm and Max in the other, the two laughing at something secret between father and son.

"I heard that, Maximillian Alexander Lightwood." My mother followed them inside, sounding annoyed, but a smile plastered to her face. I smiled to myself, still thankful that Max was okay, and that all my family could be here on Thanksgiving.

Well, nearly everyone.

"Good morning, sweetie," my mother chimed as she kissed me on the cheek. I took some of the groceries from her hands and she smiled her silent thanks as I followed her into the kitchen.

"Mom, have you seen Magnus?"

She began to put things away as my father and Max sat at the table, Max babbling on about some new super hero movie as my father listened animatedly. "He was up around six thirtyish, making pancakes for himself and Max."

"They were awesome too! He put chocolate chips in them AND whipped cream on top AAAAND he put a smiley face on them with blue berries for eyeballs! It was better than your pancakes, Alec!"

"I don't doubt it." I absently answered him. Magnus hated getting up early. Why would he be up that early?

"Don't worry, honey. Magnus is a big boy. I'm sure he'll be back soon."

"Just call him if you're concerned," my father offered up as he stood, grabbing my mother and whispering something in her ear. "Oh, he'd love that" I heard her whisper. He smiled, kissing her.

It was a rare sight for my parents to be intimate in front of any of us. Most kids would probably make gagging noises, but it reassured me.

"I love you, Maryse."

Mom looked twenty years younger when she smiled at him. "Love you too. Now get going or you'll miss your movie!"

Max piped up from his perch at the dining table. "You're going to a movie without Momma, Dad?"

"Yep."

Max pouted. "Well, that's not very nice."

My father chuckled. "Well, Mom and I agreed that since you're feeling better that while she's here cooking dinner that you and I could go see the new Avengers movie you were so excited about."

As if on cue, my mother said, "Try not to scream too loud, Max. It'll hurt your chest."

Instead, Max nodded his head vigorously. "Thanks, Dad!" His excitement couldn't be contained, no matter how hard he was trying to rest his tired body.

Dad picked him up and swung him over his shoulders, causing the both of them to laugh. "Bye, Mom!" they both called at the same time. She laughed, shooing them out.

As they left the kitchen Jace entered, a worried look on his face. "You okay, bro?"

He nodded. "Clary just called and said she'd be over later than we'd planned."

"Well honey, it's her holiday too. She can't spend all of it with you. She has parents too, you know."

"I know, Mom, it's just that...she sounded off."

"Off?" I inquired.

"Yeah. Maybe it was a bad connection or something." He shrugged it off; dipping his finger into a batter Mom was currently working on. She slapped his hand away and he whined, but they laughed.

Their chatter faded away as I went back upstairs to get dressed. I put on my dark wash Buckle jeans that Magnus loved and a plain, long sleeved shirt over my head, hurriedly slipping into my converses. Magnus's black pea coat lay on the back of my computer chair.

Had he forgotten it? I pulled my arms through it and glanced in the mirror again, combing my fingers through my hair. I slipped it into a low pony tail. I couldn't believe it had gotten that long.

I locked the front door behind me and started my walk into the brisk November breeze, the comforter from my bed folded under my arm. I had a feeling I knew where Magnus had gone. After all, today was his mother's favorite holiday.

**Magnus' POV:**

I'd fallen asleep with tear stained cheeks and frozen to the core. The warmth that spread through me now wasn't unwelcoming, just strange. Had the sun come out?

I stirred, feeling the ground beneath me move only slightly. My eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the afternoon light. I felt a pressure on the top of my head, and my cheek was nuzzled into the familiar mold of my lover's neck. "Alec?" I asked in a small voice.

He kissed my temple. "I'm here."

I nodded, reclosing my eyes and curling up into him even more. I'd felt myself getting better the past few days, but today was especially hard for me. "You didn't have to come."

"I know." He wrapped his arms around me, pulling a blanket tighter to us. "You were asleep on your mom's headstone when I got here. I was afraid you'd get sick, being like that in the cold."

"It wasn't as cold this morning. But I'm glad you came with a blanket. Smart thinking."

"Didn't know you were dating a genius, did you?"

I laughed, leaning up to kiss him. His lips met mine tenderly. I brought up my hand to cup the side of his face, pulling him closer. Even though I felt so broken, he could make me whole in an instant.

We pulled away slowly, Alec's comforting arms strong around me. His chin rested against my shoulder, his breath warming me and chilling me all at the same time.

"Don't we need to leave?"

He shook his head. "I can tell you're not ready to go. And I have all the time in the world for you."

I nodded, not trusting my voice. His fingers wove through mine. We sat at the foot of my parent's tombstones for what could have been hours, chatting easily and kissing occasionally. I felt so at peace here with him. I hadn't felt this whole in a long time.

"I'm ready."

"Are you sure?"

I smiled, scooting off his lap as he wrapped me up in the blanket and got up to stretch. "Yeah, they know I love them. And I'm not sure you can handle your stomach growling any more before you start eating the dead leaves off the ground."

"I can't help it! You and Max had pancakes, and while kissing you all day long is the most delicious thing ever, it doesn't satisfy the hunger in my stomach."

I blushed a little, much to his amusement. "Magnus?"

"Hmm?"

"You know how much I love you, right?"

I looked away from him, pondering. "Hmmm, I think so, but maybe you'd better remind me."

Before I knew it he had me off the ground, carrying me bridal style back to his car, kissing me breathless.

**A/N from Bee: I think that's the first time in my life I have ever typed out the word "pre cum"…I'm still blushing.  
>AN from Ella- BLAME ME FOR THE LACK OF FAST UPDATING! IT'S ALL MY FAULT. Poor Bee is trying to deal with college and writing at the same time and I'm over in my little Middle School world like "Derrrrrrrrrrp wuts updating? derrrrrp." *sighs* I've got a very serious illness called Couch Potato-itis. Yeah, it's dangerous you guys. Can consume your life for apparently three months.  
>If you still love me (I know you still love Bee, how could you not?) can you all give us some kind reviews to brighten up her college-y life? *whispers* you know you want to...<strong>


	10. Too Late

**A/N: I know, I haven't updated in forever! I'm a horrible person!**

**Life happens, that's seriously the only excuse I have. I still love all of you dearly, and updates will come, even if they're three months behind. I really would love to update every week or every two weeks, but sometimes that just can't happen, but ttrust me, if this sotry ever ends up being on hiatus, Ella and I will let you know. Thanks for sticking with me this long, you guys make life worth living!**

**If you haven't read City of Lost Souls yet…**

**Disclaimer: If I owned The Mortal Instruments, "City of Lost Souls" would not have left me searching for my lost soul. So be glad Cassie Clare owns it, even if I was left sobbing and Ella had to pick up the broken pieces of the part of my soul we COULD find.**

**PS- If you can find the word I used in this chapter that literally made me laugh my ass off, I don't know what I'll give you. I'll probably just laugh some more.**

**Mystery POV Number 1! :**

Energy was seeping from every pore in my body. Lights were beating down on my face and sweat plastered my hair to my forehead. My body was being knocked around by hundreds of others, fist pumping the air. My ears were being assaulted by the crowding roaring "Shots!" like a mantra along with whatever song was playing. I didn't know the song or anyone else here. It didn't matter. This was the last night of my life, and I was going to go out in style.

**Mystery POV Number 2! :**

I knew I was breathing; the air was stabbing at my lungs like one would stick sewing pins into a garment to keep material in place. But I couldn't breathe. It was like no air was getting to my body. Everything was silent. I was sure I was screaming, but even that couldn't reach my ears. Everything was so wrong. I was sure nothing would ever be right again.

This was my entire fault, but what choice did I have in the end? I couldn't keep him. I just couldn't. It would have been too selfish of me. I was trading one life for another, and in the end, I knew I would never be the same. As long as I knew he had a chance of achieving happiness, then eventually, nothing could be wrong.

I would learn how to breathe again.

**Alec's POV:**

"And then the Hulk just…..he messed shit up!"

"Max!" I wanted to scold him, but I laughed my ass off instead, content that Max was getting back to his usual self.

My brother giggled, sitting in the middle of my bed as I lounged, scratching the Chairman behind the ears and waiting for Magnus to get out of the shower. "Jace says that all the time!"

"Oh, I bet he does. Anyway, so you liked the movie?" I knew he loved it. He hadn't shut up about it since he and Dad got home from the movies. And that was two days ago.

"'Liked' is an understatement."

"I figured. Well, maybe before Magnus and I leave tomorrow we can go see it again."

Max nodded, focusing his attention to his fury friend. "Hey, can Jace come too?"

"As long as he promises to behave himself, then I don't see why not."

Without warning, Max fell flush against my chest, his eyes searching my face. "Do you really have to go back to school tomorrow?"

I wrapped my arms around him, rubbing his back, mindful of any lingering cuts and bruises. "I'm afraid so, buddy. But before you know it, Christmas break will be here, and Magnus, Jace and I will be here for a whole month."

A smile lit up his face. "Really?"

I nodded. "You're going to be absolutely sick of us."

He giggled again, snuggling back into his spot in the middle of the bed. "Not of Magnus or Jace. Maybe you, though." I knew he was kidding as soon as he stuck his tongue out. I clucked him under the chin, laughing as he squirmed away, running from the bed and into the safety Magnus' arms. I don't know how he did it; he couldn't have known Max was coming. The man had reflexes like a cat.

"Where's the fire, squirt?" Magnus asked once Max was secure in his arms.

"Alec is gonna tickle me to death!" Max laughed, but I flinched at the word 'death'. Hopefully Magnus didn't see.

"Are you kidding? Our Alec? Look at him; he's too busy being lazy in bed! I don't even think he could move if he wanted to."

I made to glare at my lover, but the playful fire in me rose in heat. Water dripped from the ends of his hair, droplets sliding down his neck on to his naked torso. His dark washed jeans hung low on his hips, neon pink and green toe nails playing peek a boo under the cuffs. I swallowed hard, knowing it would do nothing to control the situation I was having under the blankets. Magnus arched an eyebrow, nearly doing me in.

"Maggie?"

"Yes, Maxie?" Max and Annie were the only people in the world he would tolerate calling him that.

"Can we have pancakes again for breakfast?"

"Breakfast? It's almost one, buddy."

Max face deflated and my heart broke. How could anyone deny him anything? I was about to reply that I would make him some, when Magnus piped, "But that doesn't mean we can't have pancakes for lunch! How about you finish watching that Ninja Turtles movie and then we'll make a glorious lunch of pancakes."

"And bacon and biscuits and strawberry milk?"

"You know it."

I was sure Max's victory cries could be heard in Times Square as Magnus released him and he paced out of the room. If not for his injuries, I'm sure he would have shot off like a rocket.

"I have never met someone who likes pancakes as much as he does. Well, except me." Magnus sauntered to the bed in such a fashion that only Magnus Bane himself could. The worst part was he didn't even realize he was doing it.

He sat in the bed next to me, resting his back against the headboard. I glanced up at him as he threaded his fingers through my hair. I noticed the faint trace of purple half rings under his eyes.

"I'm okay", he said quietly. "I promise I'll tell you if I'm not."

"You woke up early again."

"Yeah. Around five. I feel rested, though. Unlike your lazy ass." He smiled down at me, chuckling as I pouted. "You'd better stop that."

I stick my bottom lip out further. To my surprise, he bent down and caught it between his teeth, sucking gently. I wrapped my arm around his neck, pulling him down and completing the kiss. He eventually scooted down and engulfed me in the circle of his arms. Minutes passed with languid kisses, feather-light touches, and nothing but the sound of our breathing. Sometimes, you just didn't need words.

"I do have one problem that's really eating away at me, though, Alec."

My heart stopped in my chest. I steeled myself for anything. I brushed his bangs tenderly away from his face. "What's that?"

He took a deep breath, very serious. "How am I going to conjure up strawberry milk for Max's breakfast?"

I slapped his chest so hard my hand hurt. Of course, he just laughed. I tried to roll over to ignore him, but he caught my wrist and pulled me close. "You love me."

I grunted, trying desperately not to smile.

"Alexander."

And again with the tent pitching in my pants. "Hmm?"

He buried his face into my neck, lightly kissing. "You know you love me."

Not wanting to lose, I shrugged my shoulders. Unfortunately, Magnus Bane played dirty. His hand splayed itself flat across my chest, trailing slowly down my torso to my waist. I closed my eyes, sighing contently. Even through a t-shirt, Magnus' touch could set my skin on fire.

Soon his hand was pushing my shirt up my body. "I figure we have about twenty minutes until your brother finishes that show, and I'm pretty damn sure that just pancakes aren't going to satiate me this morning. So we can either continue to play this game of horny cat and sexy teasing mouse, or you can tell me you love me and let me fix that problem you've got going on under these sheets."

I groaned into my pillow. "Why do you have to torture me with statements like that in that sexy sex voice?"

I could feel his smirk against my skin as he kissed his way up and down my stomach. "I'd very much like to torture you in a different way." I nearly screamed when he cupped me through my boxers. My hips buckled into his hand. The friction was delicious.

"You know I love you, Magnus."

"Do I?"

"God, I hope you do after all this time."

He disappeared under the covers, the only trace of him being pieces of his black, silky hair poking out from the top of the sheet. His nails grazed over my inner thigh, and I had to bite my lip. It just now occurred to me that the door was slightly ajar from when Max had entered and exited. I was too keyed up to do anything about it now. Magnus tended to be a bit of an extortionist, so I didn't bother to say anything.

"I have a pretty good idea. Now let me show you just how much I love you."

Somewhere in my musings about the door Magnus had managed to get my boxers off. His talented tongue wasted no time. His hands held my hips as his mouth descended upon me. I writhed in pleasure, and he had barely started.

**Magnus' POV:**

Within seconds Alec was putty in my hands. I'd never much cared for my name, but it sounded like a sensual prayer coming off his lips. My name could have been Bippity Boppity Boom Bane as long as Alec said it with such agonizing pleasure driven behind it.

I ran my teeth along the length of him, earning a breathy moan for my efforts. I took my time, languidly moving my tongue along every inch of him, lightly massaging his kerbangers with one hand while I maneuvered the other underneath him.

I nearly came as I watched Alec struggle to hold back a scream as I deep throated him and shoved two fingers inside at the same time. He was a whimpering mess under my ministrations. If I could have a career in loving and pleasuring Alexander Lightwood, I would be a billionaire.

Hey, I'm not conceited. I'm a damn good lover.

"Magnus!" He hissed, not knowing whether to thrust into my mouth or down on my hand. I began scissoring him and humming around him. I believe it was at this moment that he lost all coherence. He arched off the bed, rolling his hips forward. It wouldn't be too much longer.

I pumped my fingers in and out of him at a steady pace, curling them up to the knuckle in hopes of brushing across that glorious bundle of nerves. I was sure I'd hit it a few times, but Alec's doing an uncharacteristically good job of being quiet.

I slid in my ring finger as I swirled my tongue around the tip of him, stretching Alec even further. He groaned deep in his throat, causing my own hard on to twitch. Maybe Max could fend for himself this morning…

I gave Alec a final swallow before I trailed open mouthed kisses up his body. I was tempted to rip the shirt from his body, but I knew he was using it as a security measure in case someone happened to walk in on us. We'd been extremely lucky so far.

I wrapped my free hand around him, placing my lips against his ear and lightly nipping the lob. He muffled his cry with the back of his hand, arching into mine as I tugged and twisted him with a hard jerk. "You're being unfairly selfish, love" I whispered against his collarbone, leaving the loveliest necklace of hickies behind. He whimpered beneath me, my name coming in short, breathless pleas off his lips.

I kissed him hard, tasting blood before too long and not knowing if it was mine or his. He moaned into my mouth, and that was my undoing. I practically shoved my tongue down his throat, running my nails roughly down his straining sex. If I hadn't had been so involved in kissing him, his scream would have shattered the windows.

"Come for me, Alexander."

Not a moment later my hand was filled with his warmth. His body shook beneath me, his backside relaxed around my fingers as I pulled out of him. His eyes bore into mine as I lifted my hand to my lips, licking each finger clean of evidence. Before I finished, I placed my other hand on Alec's chin, demanding he open his mouth with a firm tug. Before he could question me, I slid my finger in, making sure he tasted himself.

To my immense pleasure, he closed his lips around me, sucking hard.

"Magnus!"

Our eyes never left each other as I answered. "Max!"

"My show's over! Can we have breakfast now?"

Alec's tongue swiveled around my finger. "Sure thing, kiddo! I'll be right down!"

Max didn't answer, so I assumed he was satisfied. I slid off the bed, glancing back at Alec. His breathing was still ragged, and that just fucked flush was still plain on his face. The smirk on his lips made my pulse race.

"You're killing me, Lightwood."

"You're the bane of my existence."

My heart probably fluttered faster than what was necessary, but all the same I could barely contain my contentment at the play on words as I descended down the hallway and down the stairs toward the kitchen to cook up what Max would later refer to as the "Breakfast of Champions Whose Name's Start with 'M'. Everyone Else Can Be Jealous".

**A POV- But WHOSE?**

There's no reason in the world they should help you. The whole lot of them probably doesn't want a thing to do with you after what you've done.

But I have to try, I reasoned with myself. It's been three days and I haven't heard a peep. He would have thrown a fit and come crashing through my door telling me how stupid I am and kissing me senseless by now.

You're both senseless- that's what got you into this mess.

I pushed my overbearing head voice to the back of my skull. It wasn't often I locked it up, but at the moment I was nervous enough. I was sure I was going to vomit- I was nauseated and had a bad taste in my mouth.

I knew something was wrong from the moment he hung up on me. He didn't try to persuade me to stay on the line with him until he could reach me, he didn't tell me he loved me- I got nothing.

I gritted my teeth and clenched my shaking hands into still fists. I willed my stomach to calm I hadn't felt like talking a few days ago, but now I needed to pour out my inner most thoughts.

I was about to knock on the door when it flew open and I was greeted with an energetic ten year old nearly knocking me down. "Come on, Izzy! We're gonna be late! Hi Clary, how are you! I'm feeling lots better! Thank you for the Spiderman coloring book you for me when I was in the hospital! It's awesome!"

I laughed, returning the squeeze Max had given me. "No problem, Max. I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Hold your horses, I'm coming." Izzy was still laughing at her overzealous brother as she locked the door and turned to me. "Clary! What a pleasant surprise." She gave me a dazzling smile as she kneeled down to tuck her brother's scarf into his coat. "Looking for Jace, I presume?"

Isabelle Lightwood. I had envied her beauty from the first day I saw her at school. Jet black hair that swam past her waste, usually done up in an elaborate braid, eyes as dark and alight like a burning coal, lips as pink as a baby rose bud, and a voice that attracted the opposite sex like bees to honey. She never would have given me the time of day if I hadn't have been her brother's girlfriend.

Well, ex- girlfriend.

"Actually, I was hoping I could talk to you, or Alec, if you weren't too busy."

This seemed to phase Izzy very little if at all, for she gave me an apologetic smile. "Sorry, Max's soccer team has a game today, and Max is bound and determined to go and cheer them on." She pet Max's hair affectionately as he looked up and nodded at her response. "But Alec is home if you'd like to talk to him, and I'll be home right after Max's game."

"I can't stay long, I'll just talk to Alec if that's alright."

"Sure, I think he's in the study. Just go on in."

"Thanks, Isabelle."

"Bye Clary!"

I grinned, forgetting about my nausea and what I was about to do. "Bye Max, have fun at the game."

He smiled and grabbed Izzy's hand, tugging her away to her car. I waved at Izzy as she pulled out, returning my wave and soon she was out of sight. I sighed, once again swallowing at the lump of fear and shame in my throat. What would they all think of me?

I closed the front door behind me and started off toward the study. I knew this house as well as I knew my own. Marvelous 18th century paintings adorned the hallways, along with numerous pictures of the Lightwood family. There were even pictures of Magnus and Alec together, as well as Isabelle and Simon, and Jace and-

It took everything I had not to cry as I passed the picture of Jace and me. The Lightwood's had treated me like family ever since I had been introduced by Jace as his girlfriend. I fiddled nervously with my naked ring finger, twisting the skin as if the promise ring still rested there.

"Forget the way to Jace's room?"

I jumped out of my skin, turning to see Alec with a partial grin on his face. I tried to laugh, but it came out more like a broken sob. Alec's face immediately fell. "I didn't mean to scare you that bad."

I shook my head. "No, no, it's fine, really, you didn't."

"Then what's the matter?"

I chickened out and shook my head. I had come all this way to admit to Alec and Isabelle what I had done, but now I couldn't. I just couldn't.

"I'm sorry I bothered you, Alec."

"Looks more like I'm the one bothering you." He held out a hand to me, a warm, comforting smile that I didn't deserve on his face. "Come on, let's go to the living room. You look like you've got something on your mind."

"Oh, I'm alright. I don't want to disturb you."

He shrugged, his hand still outstretched in a friendly manner. "Clary, we're friends, remember?" I couldn't help but smile at that, despite myself, and finally took his hand. He led me back toward the living room. "And you're not bothering me. Izzy and Max are at a soccer game and Magnus is asleep."

"How is Magnus?" I ask, making all the conversation I could before I was forced to reveal my reasons for coming here.

"Better. His sleeping schedule is erratic even though he's getting more sleep than he has in months, but other than that, he's great as far as I know."

"As far as you know?" Oh crap, I'm prying.

He smiled ruefully. "Magnus has some issues with openness."

"Don't we all?" I muttered under my breath.

Alec got more comfortable, settling a question gaze on me. "Is there something you'd like to talk about, Clary?"

I fidgeted with the sleeves of my jacket, playing with a bit of string that had come unraveled from the cuff. "I broke up with Jace on Thanksgiving."

I could hear his intake of breath, but I couldn't dare to look up at him. "I…I felt like I didn't have a choice. That it would be the best thing for him. I figured you'd all hate me for it, so…I've come to say goodbye, and hopefully see Jace and have some closure."

Alec's POV:

It took me a moment to process what she was telling me. Clary broke up with Jace. My brother, who was crazy in love with her. She looked hurt, and she was the one who left him!

"Did…he hurt you or something?"

Clary's head shot up at that, tears pooling behind her eyes wide with shock. "No! No, it was nothing like that! I…I would hurt him in the long run if I stay."

"Are you cheating on him?"

"No! Never!"

"Then what's the problem? I thought you two were going to get married?"

Her tears fell, but she was relatively calm. "It wouldn't be possible for us now. Jace is better off without me."

"Are you insane? He's the best he's ever been with you!"

"I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I'll just see Jace and be on my way." She stood fast, making her way out of the room. She'd just excited as I heard a loud "thud" outside the room. I ran after her, only to find her limp form in Magnus' arms.

I knelt down beside them, perplexed. "What happened?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing." He stood, cradling Clary in his arms. It was obvious she was breathing. What in the hell was going on?

"You go find Jace, and I'll take care of her."

I nodded, taking the stairs two at a time and wasting no time with knocking on Jace's door. "Jace, Clary's here, so now's the time to fix whatever you fucked up!" I looked around his room to find nothing out of the ordinary. His room was as pristine as always.

"Jace?" His leather jacket was missing from its home on the back of his computer chair, and his wallet and keys were gone. A piece of paper resting on his laptop caught my eye. It was folded in half and seemingly addressed to no one. I sat on his bed and unfolded it.

_Alec- You are the brother of my heart. Don't think you could have fixed any of this because you couldn't have. Tell Max I love him for me. Tell Izzy my hair was always more fabulous than hers. Tell Mom and Dad it isn't their fault they have a fuck up of a son. Tell Clary she's it for me, in this world and the next. _

_It's survival of the fittest. So long to the unfit. _

The letter fell from my hands. The sound of it hitting the floor shouldn't have been audible, but it sounded so much like a gunshot in my own head that I screamed.

I fished my cell phone out of my pocket and called him. Straight to voicemail. "Jace! Jace, you idiot pick up the phone! This is crazy! Clary's here just come home and talk it out! Jace, dammit, answer the phone!"

Magnus was in the room staring at me with the letter from Jace in his hand. He took the phone from me as I sank to the bed, unable to think of anything but finding Jace and beating the shit out of him.

"Yeah, see you in a minute…..okay, thanks Simon." Magnus snapped the phone shut and kneeled in front of me with his hands on my knees. "Baby, focus."

My eyes met his with a glare. I was focused! My brother could be dead!

If he was fazed by my glare he didn't show it. He was all business. In any other situation, I would have thought it was hot. "Simon is going to pick up Isabelle from Max's game, and Max will get a ride home from his friend Logan and his parents. And we're all going to go find Jace and bring him home."

"But who knows how old this letter is? Come to think of it I haven't seen Jace since Thanksgiving night."

"Simon said Jace has crashed at his and Jordan's apartment the last two nights. They saw him around noon today and not since."

"How'd he sneak in without us knowing?"

Magnus gave me an "Alec, really?" look. "It's Jace."

"True", I said absentmindedly. I glanced at Magnus. "Who's Jordan?"

"A musician friend of Simon's." He kissed my forehead and stood, moving toward the doorway. "Do whatever you need to do, but I'm going to go downstairs and wait with Clary until Maryse gets home."

I nodded reluctantly. I needed him with me, but I wasn't going to fight him on it. I waited until he was gone before I slipped into my room, put on my coat jacket, keys, and wallet. I wasn't going to wait. I jotted a quick note for Magnus and descended the stairs, sneaking out the back door. I prayed Magnus would understand.

**Magnus' POV:**

"Is that Maryse?" Clary sat up too quickly, moaning and laying back down.

"No, that's Alec's car."

"I thought he was staying until Simon and Isabelle got here?"

I shrugged, petting her hair in an attempt to soothe her and forget about Alec. _Please, baby, don't do anything rash._ "I don't think he could bear the thought of sitting here knowing Jace is...missing."

Clary sighed, tears threatening to fall. "I didn't mean to cause so much trouble. I didn't think he would do something so rash."

"Oh, you know Jace. He likes being dramatic when he doesn't get his way. I'm sure Alec will find him, talk some sense into him, and bring him home so we can all take turns beating him over the head." I hoped I was putting on a good show, because I wasn't so sure myself. I knew if Alec left me I wouldn't want to go on living.

She smiled. "Yeah, you're probably right."

I smiled back, continuing to play with her long, fiery red curls. "So, what made you think Jace wouldn't want to be a daddy? Is that why you broke up with him?"

Clary sat up, all the color drained from her face. "H-How did you know I was p…pregnant?"

I smirked at her wickedly. "Because you just told me."

**A/N- I didn't edit this a thoroughly and obsessively as I usual do so if there are mistakes then sue me. Bee. You're fantastic. Just in case someone forget to tell you that today, you're fucking perfect.  
>~Ella. <strong>


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